Humans share 98% of their DNA with their closest animal relatives, the chimpanzees. That 2% difference however was enough to put man on the moon while the chimps still frolic in and around the forest trees. So, humans should pat themselves on the back, right? We’re king of the mountain; top of the tops, lord and master over all we survey. But what else has that 2% difference bestowed upon us? Perhaps a closer comparison to the rest of the species inhabiting Planet Earth should deflate our massive egos a might.
Continued from yesterday’s blog…
Sex and all that Jazz
Only one species on this entire planet gives a damn about:
* Nudity or appearing in the nude. Why is this important? Is this really important at all, full-stop? No.
* Some of their members engaging in homosexuality. Why is this important? Is this really important at all? Not unless every human were gay, then the birth rate would tend to go down the gurgler, but clearly that’s not happening.
* Practicing birth control, which upsets other members of that species no end. Why is this important? Is this really important at all? Not unless each and every potential pregnancy is thwarted and the population plummets which again clearly isn’t happening.
* Practicing abortion, which upsets even a larger proportion of other members of that species. Why is this important? Is this really important at all? Not unless each and every pregnancy is aborted and the population plummets which yet again clearly isn’t happening.
* Those who practice abortion and not usually in an understanding way but rather by damning them, and often not just verbally. Since abortion isn’t important in the global scheme of things (i.e. – population), opponents are an irrelevancy.
* Pornography. Guess which species!
Fun and Games
Only one species on this entire planet gives a damn about:
* Sports, both as participants and/or as spectators. This is not important. This contributes bugger all to your health, education and welfare.
* Sports teams and their fate. This too contributes bugger all to your health, education and welfare. So why is this important?
* The Olympic Games (winter or summer). This contributes absolutely nothing to your health, education and welfare. So is this really important at all? Not in the slightest.
Traits
Only one species on this entire planet:
* Pats themselves on the back and awards themselves with unearned honorary titles like “Saint” or “Sir”, “Honourable” or “Right Honourable”, “Your Excellency” or “Your Highness” or “Your Honour”, etc.
* Is a racist species.
* Is a sexist species.
* Gives a damn about making things go ka-boom, blowing things up and reeking destructive havoc in general.
* Makes it their business to butt into the affairs and business of other members of that same species. Curiosity is one thing but this species goes way, way, way beyond that.
* Needs a sense of history.
* Feels a need to shave or have haircuts.
* Feels a need for privacy when going to the bathroom.
* Rationalizes their idiocy.
* Tends not to learn from their mistakes.
* Has the highest rate of obesity which is ever increasing.
* Has the ways and means of driving themselves to extinction.
* Needs to use an alarm clock.
* Thinks they know how to manage an entire planet and the only species who has stuffed everything completely up.
* Deliberately fouls their very own nest.
* Engages in self-harming activities like using drugs, alcohol, tobacco, playing excessively loud music, speeding, over-eating, eating foods extremely high in sugar and salt, suicide, etc.
* Litters, does graffiti and engages in deliberate acts of vandalism.
* Kills his own and other species too just for fun.
* Kills for fashion, like for fur coats.
* Engages in acts of terrorism.
* Engages in acts of torture both of their own kind and other species.
* Builds and used weapons of mass destruction.
* Is totally obsessed with being in constant communication 24/7/52 with other members of that same species.
* Drives around the car park for five minutes just to avoid walking an extra 100 feet.
Economics
Only one species on this entire planet:
* Imposes and cheats on taxes (boo, hiss).
* Will use and misuse money (the root of all evil?).
Legal Matters
Only one species on this entire planet:
* Has a need for a Ten Commandments, a constitution, a Bill of Rights, and an entire legal system, and guess what, it’s not your average puppy dog.
* Needs to utilize policemen.
* Needs to utilize prisons.
Conclusions
Now, should humans continue to pat themselves on the back as lords and masters of life, the universe and everything, or perhaps pat themselves on the back as being the lone idiot species inhabiting the Planet Earth?
