Guess Who? Part Two

Humans share 98% of their DNA with their closest animal relatives, the chimpanzees. That 2% difference however was enough to put man on the moon while the chimps still frolic in and around the forest trees. So, humans should pat themselves on the back, right? We’re king of the mountain; top of the tops, lord and master over all we survey. But what else has that 2% difference bestowed upon us? Perhaps a closer comparison to the rest of the species inhabiting Planet Earth should deflate our massive egos a might.

Continued from yesterday’s blog…

Sex and all that Jazz

Only one species on this entire planet gives a damn about:

* Nudity or appearing in the nude. Why is this important? Is this really important at all, full-stop? No.

* Some of their members engaging in homosexuality. Why is this important? Is this really important at all? Not unless every human were gay, then the birth rate would tend to go down the gurgler, but clearly that’s not happening.

* Practicing birth control, which upsets other members of that species no end. Why is this important? Is this really important at all? Not unless each and every potential pregnancy is thwarted and the population plummets which again clearly isn’t happening.

* Practicing abortion, which upsets even a larger proportion of other members of that species. Why is this important? Is this really important at all? Not unless each and every pregnancy is aborted and the population plummets which yet again clearly isn’t happening.

* Those who practice abortion and not usually in an understanding way but rather by damning them, and often not just verbally. Since abortion isn’t important in the global scheme of things (i.e. – population), opponents are an irrelevancy.

* Pornography. Guess which species!

Fun and Games

Only one species on this entire planet gives a damn about:

* Sports, both as participants and/or as spectators. This is not important. This contributes bugger all to your health, education and welfare.

* Sports teams and their fate. This too contributes bugger all to your health, education and welfare. So why is this important?  

* The Olympic Games (winter or summer). This contributes absolutely nothing to your health, education and welfare. So is this really important at all? Not in the slightest.

Traits

Only one species on this entire planet:

* Pats themselves on the back and awards themselves with unearned honorary titles like “Saint” or “Sir”, “Honourable” or “Right Honourable”,  “Your Excellency” or “Your Highness” or “Your Honour”, etc.

* Is a racist species.

* Is a sexist species.

* Gives a damn about making things go ka-boom, blowing things up and reeking destructive havoc in general.

* Makes it their business to butt into the affairs and business of other members of that same species. Curiosity is one thing but this species goes way, way, way beyond that.

* Needs a sense of history.

* Feels a need to shave or have haircuts.

* Feels a need for privacy when going to the bathroom.

* Rationalizes their idiocy.

* Tends not to learn from their mistakes.

* Has the highest rate of obesity which is ever increasing.

* Has the ways and means of driving themselves to extinction.

* Needs to use an alarm clock.

* Thinks they know how to manage an entire planet and the only species who has stuffed everything completely up.

* Deliberately fouls their very own nest.

* Engages in self-harming activities like using drugs, alcohol, tobacco, playing excessively loud music, speeding, over-eating, eating foods extremely high in sugar and salt, suicide, etc.

* Litters, does graffiti and engages in deliberate acts of vandalism.

* Kills his own and other species too just for fun.

* Kills for fashion, like for fur coats.

* Engages in acts of terrorism.

* Engages in acts of torture both of their own kind and other species.

* Builds and used weapons of mass destruction.

* Is totally obsessed with being in constant communication 24/7/52 with other members of that same species.

* Drives around the car park for five minutes just to avoid walking an extra 100 feet.

Economics

Only one species on this entire planet:

* Imposes and cheats on taxes (boo, hiss).

* Will use and misuse money (the root of all evil?).

Legal Matters

Only one species on this entire planet:

* Has a need for a Ten Commandments, a constitution, a Bill of Rights, and an entire legal system, and guess what, it’s not your average puppy dog.

* Needs to utilize policemen.

* Needs to utilize prisons.

Conclusions

Now, should humans continue to pat themselves on the back as lords and masters of life, the universe and everything, or perhaps pat themselves on the back as being the lone idiot species inhabiting the Planet Earth?

Guess Who? Part One

Humans share 98% of their DNA with their closest animal relatives, the chimpanzees. That 2% difference however was enough to put man on the moon while the chimps still frolic in and around the forest trees. So, humans should pat themselves on the back, right? We’re king of the mountain; top of the tops, lord and master over all we survey. But what else has that 2% difference bestowed upon us? Perhaps a closer comparison to the rest of the species inhabiting Planet Earth should deflate our massive egos a might.

There are millions of species living on Planet Earth right now (and untold millions that have lived on Planet Earth but have gone extinct). Humans are just one of those millions of here and now species, so you’d think other species would mirror our traits, or vice versa. Alas, humans are unique, and it’s not something to pat ourselves on the back about.

When it comes to what is important, for all practical purposes it boils down to filling what’s empty; emptying what’s full; scratching where it itches. A good night’s sleep doesn’t go astray either or a good role in the hay (though that might qualify under the ‘empty what’s full’ criteria). In fact to be honest, there’s only one thing that’s really important and that’s your own health and personal well being. All else, with the exception I guess of the health and wellbeing of family, is irrelevant.

Guess Who?

Dress & Fashion

Only one species on this entire planet gives a damn about:

* Clothing fads and fashion. Why is this really important?

* Hairstyles. Is this really important?

* Wearing makeup. Why is this really important?

* Wearing high heels. Is this really important?

* Wearing a suit and tie. Why is this really important?

Special Calendar Dates

Only one species on this entire planet gives a damn about:

* Holidays and the need for them. Is this really important at all?

* Anniversaries. Is this too really important at all?

Some Personal Stuff

Only one species on this entire planet gives a damn about:

* Their family history. This is totally irrelevant to your health, education and welfare.

* What their neighbour thinks of them. This is also totally irrelevant to your health, education and welfare.

* Craving “Likes” on social media sites.

The Larger Context

Only one species on this entire planet gives a damn about:

* Deities. Unless you really believe and are convinced there’s any possible relationship between your invisible friend and your post-demise fate of which there’s not the slightest shred of evidence, far less proof, then this too is irrelevant.

* Their nationalism. “My country right or wrong” has not exactly been a philosophical key to the establishment of peace on earth, goodwill towards men (and women).

* Their race (or breed). The concept of all DNA is equal but some DNA is more equal than others is chemical claptrap.

* Philosophy or metaphysics or the meaning and purpose in life. It maybe interesting, but it’s hardly important.

Special People

Only one species on this entire planet gives a damn about:

* Royalty. Why are they important? Are they really important? Absolutely not! You earn you position in life; you’re not born into it.

* Celebrities. Why are they important? Are they really important at all? Absolutely not! Everyone sits on the commoner’s throne in the exact same way and puts their leggings on one leg at a time.

Entertainment

Only one species on this entire planet gives a damn about:

* The Academy Awards (and the thousands of related entertainment awards). Why is this important? Is this really important at all? Apart from the recipient, does anyone else really give a damn? This too is totally irrelevant to your health, education and welfare.

* Reality TV. Why is this important? Is this really important at all? You only have a fixed amount of hours in your life – why waste them of this sort of drivel? 

* Rap, hip-hop and heavy metal and thinks this represents something known to that same species as music. Oh well, different strokes for different folks.

To be continued…

Origins of Agriculture

We’re aware that once upon a time our ancient ancestors lived day-to-day as nomadic hunters and gatherers. Then, roughly 10,000 years ago, in various locations around the globe, we ceased our wanderings, put down roots as rural agricultural-based settlements, and became civilized. Anthropologists cannot tell us why. Mythology does tell us why – the gift of agriculture was from the gods. What to those cultures were gods, we can interpret as ‘ancient astronauts’. 

One of the bigger mysteries in modern anthropology is the transition from nomadic hunter-gatherer lifestyles to agricultural-based settlements. This is known as the “Agricultural Revolution”. There are as many ideas and theories for the independent and relatively sudden transition from hunter-gatherer to settlements dependent of farming, as there are anthropologists who have pondered the issue. There are proposals for external factors vs. internal (social, cultural, economic) factors; global conditions vs. local conditions; climate related vs. population related; or a combination of circumstances: maybe even just the “it’s time” factor. The issue is the transition all happening at roughly the same time – about 10,000 years ago, give or take, in Europe, Mesoamerica, the Andean cultures, Egypt, the Middle East, Asia, etc. especially in the Fertile Crescent, N.E. China and Central America. Only North America (with the exception of the eastern half of what would become the United States), Australia and the far northern regions, like Siberia, retained for the most part a nomadic lifestyle.

But the really anomalous thing is that ever since our ancestors came down out of the trees and started walking upright, for all those millions of years, until roughly 10,000 years ago, we were hunter-gatherers or nomads. Then all of a sudden, wham, we settle down and raise crops and become ‘civilized’ just about universally across the social, cultural and geographical board. No one really has solid evidence to explain why.

The only idea NOT given or advanced is in fact the very one which human culture’s themselves give – in their global mythologies. Agriculture (including the domestication of various species of wildlife – cattle, sheep, goats, horses, etc.) was a gift from their gods. Human mythologies presumably written down and/or orally passed from one human generation to the next human generation, gives no credit to humans for the transition. Humans rarely pass up an opportunity to pat themselves of the back, but this is an exception to that generality. 

Humans have certain basic needs: air, water, sleep, certain temperature range and food. We’re instant experts at breathing (air) and sleeping. We don’t need to seek out, grow or harvest these. We have some control over temperature, and water supplies are usually pretty constant – rivers, springs, lakes, ponds, etc. Food is the dicey item.

The hunter-gatherer method of finding food takes less effort than agricultural tilling-the-fields settlements, so why settlements and why the shift from hunter-gatherer to agriculture is relatively short time frames in diverse parts of the world. Well, what the gods want, the gods get. And if the gods give you a gift, by the gods you’d better make use of it!

These gods (a sampling) oversaw and gave the gift of agriculture to humans thus explaining our transition from hunter-gatherers to settlements and civilization.

* Ninurta was the god of agriculture in the ancient Near East who taught all about crop production.

* Kumarbi: The Hittites had Kumarbi, the father of the gods and a grain deity.

* Osiris (Ancient Egypt): Before being bumped off and dismembered by his brother Seth (Set), and reassembled and resurrected by his sister-wife Isis, and promoted to god of the underworld, he was the god of agriculture who taught men (and women) how to raise corn and vines. That’s why ancient Egyptians depicted him with green skin. 

* Ceres was the Roman goddess of grain and agricultural fertility (from which we get the term cereal).

* Demeter was the Greek goddess and counterpart to Ceres; she was the goddess of corn, crops and fruit groves as well as fertility of the fields who taught humans agriculture.

* Triptolemus, under the direction and guidance of Demeter, brought people the gift of wheat and who spread the benefits of agriculture around the world.

* Chaac was the Mayan god of rain, hence a patron of agriculture like maize and vegetables and hence fertility.

* Xipe Totec was the Aztec god of maize and vegetation.

* Viracocha was a top Inca god who walked among humans, and, among other subjects, instructed students on agriculture. Further, Viracocha fathered two deities, Inti and Mama Quilla, who in turn had an offspring Manco Capac, the first Inca ruler, who also taught agriculture to his human subjects. The odd thing about Viracocha, the highest god in the Inca pantheon, was that he was depicted as pale, bearded with Caucasian features and with green eyes. This is quite akin to the Aztec deity Quetzalcoatl (Kakalcan to the Mayan and otherwise known throughout Mesoamerica under various aliases). They both, Viracocha and Quetzalcoatl departed their respective regions to head over and across the sea with an “I’ll be back” promise. That the Aztecs mistook the Spaniard Cortes for the return of Quetzalcoatl# speaks volumes about what Quetzalcoatl looked like – white, bearded, with Caucasian features. Alas, the enigma here is that there never was any cultural contact between Mesoamerica and the Incas, so why the similarity between Viracocha and Quetzalcoatl? Some New Agers view these white bearded deities of the Americas, who mysteriously vanish, as Jesus in the flesh. That aside, the important point is that Viracocha was a travelling professor of agriculture.

* Shennong: In Chinese mythology there’s Shennong, the farmer god who invented the plough and taught people how to farm.

* Inari was in Shinto Japanese mythology a rice and fertility god.

* Bulul was a Philippines rice god who looked over seeds and the harvest.

* Nummo or Nommo (hybrid creatures) of the African Dogon culture of Mali were teachers (from the star Sirius according to some) who taught farming to mankind.

Of course what our ancient ancestors viewed as supernatural gods and goddesses, we think of them today more akin to flesh-and-blood extraterrestrials (‘ancient astronauts’) who came to Earth long ago with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal humans of that era. The ‘gods’ would have conducted their worldwide agricultural tutorials at roughly the same time, say about 10,000 years ago. Being practical, they ignored regions impractical for low-tech sustainable agriculture like vast deserts, the tundra, tropical rain forests, etc.

Now the obvious question is why would the ‘gods’ want to give us the gift of agriculture in the first place? That can probably be summed up by the Biblical phrase “be fruitful and multiply”. In a hunter-gatherer society, babies are a burden. They contribute no labour, consume resources, and divert time and energy required for their care away from the daily survival tasks at hand. Since you have to carry your newborn brat around, being a nomadic troop, it hinders your hunting-gathering, so it is best to keep your brats well spaced – every four or five years apart minimum, so one brat can start to contribute a bit to the greater good before your next one pops out into the world.

But once in a settlement scenario, with a reliable food supply, you can start dropping your little bundles of joy nearly every year. There will be the establishment of a sort of child care centre or facility where one person, unable for health or elderly reasons to work the fields can look after all the little darlings, leaving mum free to toil away in the rice paddies or whatever. Though infant mortality will take its toll in either a hunter-gatherer society or in a settlement community, the more frequently bundles are dropped, the faster the population will increase; more workers to produce new and widen fields already under cultivation; build buildings, etc. And of importance too, once you take up a settlement way of life, then you have a need to defend that territory since a lot of sweat and toil went into staking out the community’s land claim and making it productive. A rapid population increase makes defending your turf easier.

But what’s in it for the ‘gods’? Two things - first mythologies around the world are full of references that the ‘gods’ created humans to do the hard work, just like the CEO and Board of Directors of a mining company hires the great unwashed to actually do the hard work – go down into the mines with picks and shovels, etc. while the CEO and company watches from on high: more population – more workers. That’s probably the real reason Adam and Eve got booted out of Eden and directed to start the daily grind and toil of farming (Genesis 3:23). It was probably all a setup from the get-go.

Secondly, what do ‘gods’ want? Well, to be worshiped. Do you get a greater buzz out of a hundred people bowing and scraping down and building small monuments to you, or a thousand or a million doing the same and building great big monuments to your glory? No dictator ever wants to appear in public and not have anyone turn out to render a worshiping salute. 

Having achieved their objective, well it’s on to the next inhabited planet for another challenge in civilizing the great unwashed.

And so, thanks to the ‘gods’, or ‘ancient astronauts’, most of us no longer have to wander the lands in search of our daily bread!

# In all fairness, not all scholars believe there actually was a connection.

We’re Still Sheep in Human Clothing – More Baa! Part Two

I said it before, I’ll say it again: nearly all of us conform to the sociological norm and rest comfortably within the cultural box society demands of us, because, ultimately it’s too much effort to really be an outsider, a free thinker and doer due in part to the social consequences of being, well, different. Let’s face reality; most of us are sheep most of the time. Here’s round two of ‘what the flock’ just to further drive home the point.

Most humans end up being garbed in sheep’s clothing most of the time. For some further examples: 

Continued from yesterday’s blog…

Giving

Some charity comes knocking on your door for a donation. You get an email request from a bona fide organisation you donated to in the past asking for you to volunteer some of your time for another really worthy cause. You get a phone call seeking support for those who are in need, or for medical research, or some other worthwhile cause. Your near neighbour down the street asks you to buy some of his daughter’s Girl Scout cookies. Your office colleague comes around hat in hand for the office sweeps, or asking for a donation for a gift for some worker who you’ve never met who’s about to retire. The collection plate is passed around at your local church service. Someone is always in your face with their grubby little paw sticking out asking for your money, or time, or both. Meekly, because it’s only $5 or just a couple of hours of your time, you cave in – again and again and again. The sheep can be relied on. They’re a soft touch since hardly anyone wants to be seen or known as a cheapskate. Baa!

Hype, Hype and More Hype

Hands up anyone that’s never experienced being on the receiving end of HYPE! No hands? I thought so. We’ve all experienced over-enthusiasm, especially when and where $$$ are concerned. The prime example is the super-ultra over-the-top month-long (plus) from which I cannot escape hype of all things Christmas. I asked a staffer at a local supermarket why we (staff and customers alike) were being saturated with in-store Xmas music. Well the obvious answer was to get those customers in the proper Xmas spirit and mood, which translated, meant customers spending, spending and spending their money in the staffer’s store (helping of course to keep staffers employed).

The British Royals get the Royal Hype by the press. It’s saturation media coverage for any Royal bit of news at all, including obviously any birth, death, marriage, divorce, or scandal, the sexier the better. Why the intense interest in these dysfunctional idiots is beyond me. I’ve never figured it out and I probably never will. 

Sports are another hyped up category, especially the Olympic Games, but all others like the NFL Superbowl, grand finals of any kind, the Red Sox – N.Y. Yankee rivalry, etc. are grist for the hype mill. The more people that tune in, the bigger the target audience for the advertisers.   

Then we have all those over-the-top at what seems like 100 decibel levels TV commercials hyping you to be the first on your block; try this new and improved; with a brand new taste; be the envy of your neighbours; never to be repeated; easy terms; it’s better than ever; it won’t last long; ends soon; act now; limited quantities; don’t miss out; and on and on and on it goes.

Then you get the saturation exposure to the premier of the newest must see ‘blockbuster’ film. What new fashion shows aren’t just pure hype and another form of planned obsolescence.

Why? Without all the manufactured hype, the average person just wouldn’t give nearly as much of a damn. And it works too! Baa!

The End of the World on the 21^st December 2012

Every time some nutcase makes an end-of-the-world prediction, you can bet the family farm that he or she or they will attract a flock of sheep who believe that specific end-of-days prophecy. Often that ends in tragedy as the flock sell their family farm and possessions; leave behind family and friends, only to have to crawl back on hands and knees looking the absolute fool they were. Sometimes it’s more serious than that – mass suicides have taken place by the true believers. The latest in a very, very  long line of case histories has been taken from the Mayan calendar which, much like our going from the 31^st of December to the 1^st of January, clicks over from one cycle to the beginning of a new cycle. Alas, the deluded, and/or those out to make a fast buck, have convinced many a human sheep that the end of the cycle is in literal fact the end of the world. The upshot, a lot of these end of the world soothsayers made a lot of money selling their tall tales to the great unwashed. They were the winners; the sheep, as usual, got fleeced. The world went on its merry way. As is now obvious to even the densest of morons, the world did not end on the 21^st of December 2012, as any sane person tried to tell you before-the-fact. For those who believed regardless, sucker! Baa! 

Anniversaries

There’s something very sheepish about nearly all humans attributing some special significance to the Earth making one complete orbit of the Sun, or in other words, returning to a specific point* one year later – otherwise known as an annual anniversary. Though it’s of no cosmic significance and purely a human invention and observation, god help you if you miss someone’s birthday or forget your wedding anniversary or fail to show proper respect for local, state, regional or national holidays, like the Fourth of July, or ANZAC Day, Washington’s Birthday or the Queen’s Birthday, VE or VJ Day, etc. Why a human invention? When’s the last time you observed your companion animal(s) or any animal in the wild ‘celebrate’ one of their anniversaries? They could care less – no muss and no fuss. Perhaps we should take a leaf out of their book; follow their example. Not even real sheep celebrate anniversaries! Baa!

*That’s actually incorrect since it’s not the Earth orbiting a stationary Sun, rather the Earth orbiting a rapidly moving Sun that’s moving it it’s own orbit around the central core of the Milky Way Galaxy. When the Earth orbits once around the Sun, it does NOT return to the exact same coordinates in space. And just to further complicate things, the Milky Way Galaxy isn’t standing still either, but moving position with respect to other galaxies, or whatever other points of reference you care to name. 

New Year Resolutions

Speaking of cosmically non-significant anniversaries, the annual renewal of the New Year Resolution list comes close to top-of-the-pops. Most people make them; most people break them; year-in-and-year-out. There’s only one New Years resolution anyone need make, and that is to “never make any more New Years Resolutions”. I did that decades ago, and lo and behold, I’ve never broken that commitment. As to the rest of you, Happy New Year (which, truth be known, you’ll probably be wishing good riddance 364 days later). Baa!

Diets

Probably the New Years Resolution that’s top-of-the-pops is to lose weight, as fast and as painlessly as possible. To cater for that segment of the human population, nearly every week some new fad diet is put forward and just as predictable a flock of human sheep gobble it up only to move on to the next newest diet fad and the next when each in turn is found wanting and doesn’t provide the painless quick-fix promised. Baa!

To conclude, there’s just no end to those facets of society and culture that see those humans garb themselves in sheep’s clothing. Baa! Baa! Baa!

We’re Still Sheep in Human Clothing – More Baa! Part One

I said it before, I’ll say it again: nearly all of us conform to the sociological norm and rest comfortably within the cultural box society demands of us, because, ultimately it’s too much effort to really be an outsider, a free thinker and doer due in part to the social consequences of being, well, different. Let’s face reality; most of us are sheep most of the time. Here’s round two of ‘what the flock’ just to further drive home the point.

Most humans end up being garbed in sheep’s clothing most of the time. For some further examples: 

Sales

Black Friday, Cyber-Monday, Boxing Day (post-Xmas) – There are sales and sales days; then there are SALES and SALES DAYS. There’s something extra special about those SALES and SALES DAYS that drives your average mild mannered person-in-the-street into a raging maniac. “All’s fair in love and war” should be updated to “all’s fair in love, war and sales shopping”. Strike first, strike hard and strike often. It is pure road rage only in the department store isles. The name of the game is doing unto others before they do it unto you. Let’s just say when shoppers hit the SALES, the sheep turn into rams on steroids! But a sheep by any other name is still a sheep. Baa!

Women’s Magazines

There are serious newspapers and then there are the tabloids. There are serious magazines, and then there are the magazines for the average great unwashed bored out of her ever-loving mind female, usually just plain Jane housewife whose idea of a good time is playing the pokies and whose IQ is struggling to reach triple figures. Porn sites probably contribute more towards human culture than what passes for titillation for the female masses, where any similarity between fact and the written word is purely a matter of coincidence. Yet these ‘true confessions, celebrity scandals, who’s sleeping with who, how I lost 100 pounds in one week’ magazines sell by the millions each week, every year. Readers, you are being fleeced. Baa!

Celebrities

Just taking one example, and examples could be numbered in the thousands, there’s a certain female celebrity, Kim Kardashian, who seemingly gets more coverage, more press stories, more interest accrues to her than the POTUS. For the life of me I can’t figure out why this person is important and why anyone gives a damn, yet millions do. I’m stumped, other than to conclude the obvious. Only mindless sheep would think this person should rate more than one second worth of their time, if that. Baa!

The Royal 2013 Brat

Within literally 24 hours of the announcement that, what’s her name, the  Topless Royal, oh yes, Kate, was in a family way, not only did the whole Internet light up and explode like some super Fourth of July fireworks display, but the first Royal Baby 2013 Souvenirs were on the retail shelves, ready to be gobbled up for all those Royal Lovers, oops, Lovers of all things Royal to take into their homes, no doubt to gather dust like all other non-eatable Royal kitsch, oops, knickknacks. What does this tell you about the nature of the human species? What does this tell you about the nature of human priorities? Baa!

Clothing Doesn’t Make the Man - The Suit and Tie

There are just certain occupations where certain items of attire are mandatory, usually for safety reasons, like batting helmets for baseball batters and the mask, chest protector, shin-guards, etc. if you’re a baseball catcher. Ditto shoulder pads and helmets in gridiron football. Hardhats are common sense if you’re a miner or construction worker; ditto bright safety vests if you work outdoors, say road construction, and need to be highly visible. Some professions do require uniforms, as in the military. However, many occupations require certain ‘uniforms’ that actually contribute bugger-all to the ability of that person to perform the job in question. I refer in particular to the civilian white-collar worker, who, if male, is just about required to wear a suit and tie, or at least a jacket and tie. Why? The ability to perform the function you are employed to do has nothing to do with what you wear. Your ability comes from whatever mental and physical abilities you have. Okay, you could perform equally well, in theory, in your birthday suit and in a tuxedo. Eliminating those extremes, you do your best work when you are attired in what is most comfortable. I would suggest that a suit and tie is not that attire; a clean open collar shirt and comfortable pants would suit 99.9% of those otherwise required to wear the suit-and-tie ‘uniform’. Given white-collar workers just meekly dress according to what fashion dictates, instead of wearing that conductive to productivity enhancing comfort, well, all sheep wear wool. Baa!

On the Run

What is it about our society that the sheep have to do everything as if the butcher were after them? I mean they eat on the run; they are not content to let the escalator take them up or down, they have to shove past you, gaining maybe five whole seconds – so where’s the fire? They talk on the run on their mobiles, they text on the run, and while they may have the runs, at least they have to stop and smell the roses when going to the loo. And since they are paying attention to anything and everything except the direction they’re headed in, let’s just be thankful they aren’t behind the wheel of a car! Oops, in fact that’s exactly where all too frequently they are. Driving or otherwise, it’s a sin to waste a moment not doing something, and you should probably feel guilty for sleeping! Baa!

Family Ties

The basic philosophy here is that if it was (or is) good enough for Mom and Dad, then it’s good enough for me – they can do my thinking for me. I mean many offspring usually settle themselves, at least initially, relatively close to where they grew up. Offspring often tend to follow in the same employment-related footsteps as their parents; like father – like son. If your parents were of this particular brand of religious faith, odds are that you will be too. If Mom and Dad drove W, used X, smoked Y, drank Z, chances are you too will be a WXYZ person. If your parents had particular interests, say fans of a particular sports team, well it’s likely you will root for that team too. The same applies to their politics; it’s your politics too. If your parents attended a specific type of educational institution, the odds are you will follow suit. All of the above of course isn’t set in concrete, but moe often as not, because of family ties, you’re a sheep. Baa!

To be continued…

We’re Sheep in Human Clothing - Baa! Part Two

We all probably like to pride ourselves for being independent thinkers and doers – thinking and doing outside of the box that society has tried to put us, and confine us, in. Dream on. Nearly all of us conform to the norm and rest comfortably within that box because ultimately it’s too much effort to really be an outsider, a free thinker and doer due in part to the social consequences of being, well, different. Let’s face reality; most of us are sheep most of the time.

Continued from yesterday’s blog…

Marketing Those Fads & Fashions: Since you were knee-high to a grasshopper, you’ve been exposed to hundreds of thousands of marketing gimmicks* designed to make you think you need something you probably don’t, at a higher price than you should pay, all for the sake of the almighty profit of thousands of for-profit companies. You’re bombarded with ads on the telly, on the radio, in the movie theatre, in the baseball park, on billboards, skywriting, on the sides of buses, on buildings, in magazines and newspapers, on the Internet, email spam, junk mail spam, even the layout of goods in the shops is designed to get you to part with your money. Neon signs flash out their messages of ‘must haves’. You get bombarded constantly with symbols, jingles, too good to be true images, sex appeal that sells, appeals to the good life, promoting being forever young, etc. Hype, hype and more hype is the order of the day. Is there any product in existence that hasn’t been ‘new and improved’ dozens of times over? What does ‘whiter than white’ or ‘fresher than fresh’ or ‘flavour you can see’ really mean? Then there’s ‘certified organic’ food, or ‘real food’ (as if to suggest some foods aren’t real or aren’t organic – maybe they mean those plastic apples and bananas, etc. that decorate some living room bowls). If there were really such a thing as truth in advertising we wouldn’t need any agency dealing with consumer affairs. Where does it all get you? As the song lyrics go, “another day older and deeper in debt”, and a lot unhealthier too since a lot of that marketing goes into foods that contribute more calories than nutrition, alcohol products often abused, tobacco products which help keep the medical profession fully employed and a profitable one. The bottom line is that such gimmicks work; otherwise ads would have proved to be more expensive than the profits they brought in and cut from the company’s bottom line. Actually it doesn’t always have to be a for-profit motive. ‘Join the Navy and see the world’ or ‘vote for me’ are non-profit marketing exercises. Still, Madison Avenue and associated equivalents not only think you’re sheep, they know you are. Baa!

There’s A Sucker Born Every Minute: There’s a sucker born every minute so it doesn’t take all that long therefore to gather together a flock of suckers. For example, why would anyone spend their dollars on bottled water when tap water is nearly free in comparison – unless of course there’s something seriously wrong with the tap water but that’s rare in most advanced countries today. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the tap water where I live. It tastes A-OK and I haven’t gotten ill from using it yet, yet bottled water is a big seller locally. It nearly flies off the supermarket shelves so it’s a flock of suckers buying it. Why? Well, there’s a sucker born every minute, that’s why. Baa!

Walking Billboards: Many of us, probably all of us if truth be known, own items of clothing, usually tee-shirts, which ‘advertises’ or promotes something or other. Perhaps that lettering or image reflects a product like a soft drink, or perhaps a band tour, the name of a company, your alma mater, a favourite sports team, an entertainment figure or image, your holiday destination; the range is just about limitless. No doubt that reflects some personal parts of your, well, personality, something that’s your favourite something. Akin to that, you drive a certain brand of automobile that probably has a nearly irremovable sticker of the automobile dealer you bought the car from. Those items of clothing, that brand of car, that dealer’s sticker, and a lot more besides, are all free advertising donated by you to whatever agency owns that image or brand name. When you buy a home the real estate agency slaps a big “SOLD” sign with their logo in front for all to see. If you have some sort of renovations to the home’s exterior, the company doing the work will place a sign in front letting all who pass by who did that fine bit of reconstruction, It’s pretty hard to avoid advertising someone else’s product or business, but you do it and boy-oh-boy, don’t those outsiders just love you for it since it doesn’t cost them a cent. They are just ROTFLTAO at how they get extra mileage out of you at no additional deficit to their profit margin; in fact you are contributing to additional profits for them without anyone helping out your economic bottom line. Baa!  

Reviews: The point of an independent and neutral ‘Review’ of say restaurants, books, films, CDs, etc. is to inform. Your reaction to such reviews is a go/no-go depending on what the reviewer says. So in fact, the reviewer is leading you around by the nose. Around the water cooler at work, you don’t want to be caught out not having read this week’s ‘must read’ (or vice versa, having read something some ‘expert’ bucketed), or admit not to have dined out at this new five star eatery (or again vice versa if you had and the review suggested that not even a cockroach would be seen dining there). Reviews and reviewers may have their place, but the implication is that you’re a sheep that needs them to do your thinking for you. Baa!

Keeping up with the Jones Family: Who hasn’t heard of that expression? But isn’t it really way more than just an expression? Your fellow co-worker just moves into a new four bedroom home while you are still in a old three bedroom resident. Is this a motivation to move on up in the world? Your neighbour buys a new deluxe 4WD automobile while you still putt-putt-putt around in a Model-T by comparison. Is a trip to the automobile dealer on the agenda next weekend? Your second cousin just upgraded to this new and improved wireless PC while your landline tabletop computer is within months of a hard disk crash it’s that old. 99% of all those around you seem to have this tablet, that smart phone, this iPod, while you are still a relatively technological Neanderthal. But you’ll show them!!! Your wife complains that you earn twice as much as her best friend’s husband, yet his wife dresses twice as well as your wife does. What are you going to do about that? Have you been told today? Consider yourself told and act accordingly. Baa!

Melbourne Cup: Though this is uniquely Australian, I’m sure similar examples can be found around the globe. The Melbourne Cup is just another horse race in a land where horse races are a dime a dozen. However, this particular horse race is touted as the race that stops the nation. It’s run on the first Tuesday in November, which is now a public holiday in the state of Victoria (where Melbourne is located) and there are serious calls to make it a public holiday throughout the entire country – for a horse race mind you! Anyway, holiday or not, for some inexplicable reason, for just this one horse race, the whole nation goes bonkers! For hours before and after the race no work gets done. Transport comes to a standstill during the race itself. People are glued to their TV or radio sets. Women dress up to the nines trying to outdo each other in who can appear in the most ridiculous hat. Everyone and his or her maiden aunt has a flutter (bet) on the outcome, and short of World War Three starting, it will be the lead item on the evening news and in the following morning’s newspaper front page. All for a horse race mind you. Absolute insanity! Baa!

Not an overly pretty or flattering picture, is it?

*I’m surprised some marketing guru hasn’t yet come up with “buy our new and improved Manna Bread, the bread that God Himself endorses, and atheists can enjoy Manna Bread as well”!

We’re Sheep in Human Clothing - Baa! Part One

We all probably like to pride ourselves for being independent thinkers and doers – thinking and doing outside of the box that society has tried to put us, and confine us, in. Dream on. Nearly all of us conform to the norm and rest comfortably within that box because ultimately it’s too much effort to really be an outsider, a free thinker and doer due in part to the social consequences of being, well, different. Let’s face reality; most of us are sheep most of the time.

Sometimes it’s good to be a human sheep, like when you’re driving in traffic or following the tried and true training regime, being part of the work team, obeying lawful orders in the military or from other authority figures vetted for that purpose. You’re expected to be a sheep and follow the rules when participating in sporting events.

On the other hand, at times there’s something to be said for marching to the beat of a different drummer. Alas, what’s drummed into you tends to be something akin to being told to “Jump”, and you meekly reply, “How high?” Baa!

Unfortunately, there’s no shortage of that “How High” reply. For example:

Religion: There’s relatively little that need to be said here. Billions upon billions of people past and present would bet the family farm that a monotheistic deity (Allah, God, Jehovah, the Almighty, etc.) exists despite the fact that there is no evidence that one can see, hear, touch or taste or smell than even remotely hints at such a deity, far less confirms the actual existence. Whether Muslim, Christian, or Jew, there are just certain times of the day, week, month or year when you go to your closet and pull out and don your sheep coverings. It’s all due to the concept being rammed down your throat by authority figures from an early age, because they had that concept rammed down their throat when they were young and impressionable, and so on down the line to thousands of years ago. Would someone born and raised in an environment that had no concept of the supernatural come to believe in a monotheistic deity of their own intellect? - Probably not. Baa!

When in Rome: Unless you’re a hermit, you have to mingle with the great unwashed and it’s not just ‘when in Rome do as the Romans do’ but in anytown do as the local anytowners do or you will find yourself in social strife. Many a movie plot revolves around that theme of the alien and the alienated other, a stranger in a strange land; the outcast. Dare to be different but wear iron-plated underwear. It doesn’t take much otherness for anytowners to resort to necktie parties. On a scale of 0 to 10 for human tolerance of the other, well maybe 0.5 is a reasonable score. The other had better conform. Baa!

Christmas: The bills, the cards you send to people you really don’t give a damn about, the bills, the unneeded and unwanted presents you receive, the bills, all those presents you get to give to the great unwashed, the bills, the wrappings, the bills, the Xmas trees, the bills, the baubles, the bills, the Xmas lights, the bills, the decorations, the bills, the family guests you’d rather not have come around, the bills, the extra food (with a usually ever unchanging and boring menu), the bills, the cleanup, the bills, all those lengthy hours spend Xmas shopping for others instead of yourself, and oh, did I mention the bills that come due? Are we having fun yet? Why do people voluntarily subject themselves to total insanity; this annual nightmare, even if you can afford the bills? The only institutions to benefit are the banks who issue the credit cards and the retail sector. Nor can you use the excuse that you’re just part of the masses observing the birthday of Jesus. Nowhere in any religious literature, like the New Testament, will you find the date, even the month or season when the alleged deity Jesus was born. And woe to any authority figure who says there’s no Santa Claus. They will be crucified – reality is damned. Baa!

Birthdays: We nearly all ‘celebrate’ birthdays, our own obviously, and those most near and dear to us: WTF? Why ‘celebrate’ another anniversary of coming ever closer to your final demise, or the demise of those nearest and dearest to you, and why not celebrate, if you must celebrate, a date some nine months earlier at the conception instead of when you or yours were hatched? Many people also ‘celebrate’ the birthday of those already dead, why I’m not sure since they can’t participate in that ‘celebration’. There’s also the idiocy of ‘celebrating’ someone’s birthday on the wrong day, the example that immediately springs to mind is that of the British Queen Liz, at least in Australia. Then there’s the even greater idiocy of ‘celebrating’ the birthday of someone on a date that isn’t known with any remote degree of certainty, and of that same someone whose very existence is open to question – Jesus. Baa!

Peers Rule, OK: People, especially young people want to fit in, be accepted by their equals. In order to do that, they have to be just another face in that crowd of peers, and dress the part. If the ‘uniform’ of the day is wearing backward facing baseball caps, then to fit in you’d better wear your baseball cap on back-to-front. Another common ‘uniform’ accessory is the 600 ml bottle of water or soft drink tucked away in the required backpack, all part of the non-conformist uniform (vis-à-vis your non-peers) you wear to conform (vis-à-vis your peers). Now that bottle has to contain THE brand name. Any old brand just isn’t acceptable. Now marketing gurus, knowing this, rub their greedy little paws together and laugh all the way to the bank. It doesn’t take much to verify that a 600 ml bottle of top brand X will usually cost twice to three times as much as a standard 1.25 or even a 2 litre bottle of the same. THE top brand of course, in any size, will cost way more, two to three times more, than an in-store house generic brand of the same size, even though the difference in taste is usually minimal, if that. But, your peers say that THE brand, in this size, is required to be part of the in-crowd, so THE 600 ml top brand it is. Baa!

The In-Crowd: The in-crowd is not the exact same mob as your peers. The in-crowd is a combo of the ‘right’ place populated with the ‘right’ people. Not just any crowd found in any old place qualifies. Personally I find pandering to the social scene, the society pages, as if this somehow elevates your worthiness Boring (with a capital B). Besides, when all aspire to be one with the social set, the in-crowd elite, you become part of a flock again, even if it’s the upper-crust flock. Baa! 

Fawning Over British Royalty: Why do millions of people fawn over just a couple of handful of peoples who lead the super ultra good life plus; are a drain on the public purse; are a totally dysfunctional family; who never had to earn their position in life, yet who sit on the commoners throne in the same manner as the great unwashed? What’s Queen Liz (for example) done for you lately to earn your bowing and scraping? Baa!

Social Media: Facebook, Twitter, Email, etc.: Its obvious physical substances can cause addictions. Apart from tobacco, alcohol and other drugs, legal and illegal, you’re addicted to eating and breathing! You can also become addicted to various chemicals your brain produces when gambling, which is why gambling is addictive to some. But email addiction? Though I know humans are social animals, there’s something totally over-the-top in and use and abuse of social media. When you feel you have to log into these sites dozens, even multi-dozens of times a day, even when sitting on the throne or in a movie theatre or while shopping in the supermarket then you’re an addict, and IMHO in serious need of some therapy. You know, every now and then it’s good to just chill out, unplug the computer, and be your own best friend. Baa!

Mobile Phones: Closely related to the above, it seems that everybody and their great grandmothers have got to have a mobile phone, turned on, right next to their body, 24/7/52, in case someone wants to get in contact, or, shock-horror, failing that, so they can contact someone. This obsession with talking to people virtually non-stop is beyond my comprehension, especially when you overhear the nature of the conversations; say on the bus or in the supermarket or, much to the annoyance of others, in the theatre. It’s usually anything but important. In fact, it’s usually so trivial as to even be below the level of trivia. Whoever invented the mobile phone must be laughing all the way to the bank to deposit their latest billion dollar profit on the royalties, all because they had the insight that people somehow feel they need to bend other people’s ears, and have their ears bent in return, with trivia, trivia and more trivia. It used to be the case that only politicians and real estate agents and used car salesmen spouted off hot air. That’s no longer true. In the here and now, never have so many, said so much, about so little. Baa!

To be continued…

Observations on Human Nature

As we all are aware, even if we would never admit it, the human being is the nastiest species on this pale blue dot of a planet. In fact, if there is any species that really needs culling, it’s the human species. If I needed any reminding of this, all I need to do is take a daily walk to the supermarket, and I’m guaranteed to see, albeit in microcosm, the worst that humanity has to offer. 

I’m in a fortunate position where I can easily walk to the supermarket and get my daily quota of groceries, as well as my daily quota of exercise – killing two birds with one stone as it were. In terms of the highlight of the day, it surely does rank as that – only the worst highlight of the day.

THE WALK TO THE SUPERMARKET

I’m convinced that drivers are the scum of the earth. There’s something about getting behind the wheel of a car that turns many a decent human being into a raving selfish lunatic. For example:

*I’ve had it happen, not frequently but too frequently for comfort, that while crossing a road, for lack of a crosswalk or traffic lights, an approaching car in the distance will all of a sudden speed up and slightly alter course to head or aim directly for me, as if I’m somehow trespassing on their personal turf. The driver, ten times out of ten, is male.

*Again not frequently, but too frequently for comfort, I’ve had a car-full of young male hoons passing by who find it a delightful pleasure to yell obscenities out the window at pedestrians. Brave lads one and all of course, passing by in a speeding vehicle, since of course the lone pedestrian, a total stranger is obviously a major threat to their wellbeing and has grievously insulted them by the mere fact of existing. 

*Despite all the concern over greenhouse gas emissions and all the publicity given over global warming and throw in the high price of petrol, why don’t I really find it strange or surprising that roughly 14 out of 15 cars I see on the road have but one occupant. Actions speak louder than words, but most people will not put their money where their mouth is.

*Speaking of drivers, an awful lot of them must be on the road heading towards a really HOT date, given their excessive speed.

*And whether it’s a speeding driver, or even a shopper in the supermarket, texting and talking on their mobile is infinitely more important than paying attention to their driving or their shopping. That’s odd behavior since presumably, in either case, the reason they are driving or in the supermarket in the first place, is to drive or to shop.

*There’s one pedestrian crosswalk between home and the supermarket, and I usually try to time things to make at least one driver stop or at least slow down for me as I cross, not that that little road rule means much sometimes as not all drivers care to slow down, far less stop, for a pedestrian who is on their turf, resulting in some close calls. One idiot driver chose not to slow down far less stop in full sight of a passing police vehicle – tisk, tisk. I bet that’s one driver who won’t be pulling that stunt again.

*And then there are those cyclists who use the sidewalks instead of the road, which normally isn’t a problem, except when they race around a blind curve not expecting anything in their blind path, until, oops, they slam into you.

*While walking to my destination, I can always tell when I’ve left the wilderness and crossed over into civilization by the increasing amount of litter I spot along the roadside, not to mention the ever increasing amount of graffiti.

*And don’t you just love your neighbors when residents don’t bother to trim their front yard trees, hedges and bushes that grow and hang out and over a public sidewalk thus denying access and forcing all and sundry to go around. I see that every day on my walk.

*The neighborhood recycling bins are routinely collected same day every fortnight. Yet somehow some people can’t quite figure this routine out. And so I spot them out on the sidewalk awaiting collection that’s many a day away, and it’s not because the residents have gone off on holidays and had to put their bin out early. And some people can not, or will not, come to terms with what is, and what is not, recyclable. Apparently soiled disposable nappies are a regular item that some people consider recyclable.

*Speaking of bins, various charitable organizations put out charity bins at local shopping centers for people, who want to donate used, but useable clothing, blankets, etc. Alas, these bins have been turned into rubbish dumps as people leave all sorts of broken, unusable junk rather than taking their large item rubbish to the tip – where they would have to pay a fee. Instead, the charity is legally obligated to clear up the rubbish dumped and take it to the tip where they have to pay the fee, meaning less money for them is available to assist the needy.  

*If it’s been a bit wet, you can tell where humans have treaded by the number of stomped on snails littering the sidewalks. It’s probably a natural, if over-the-top reaction to that proposed Hollywood, and future Oscar-winning epic and sci-fi blockbuster, “The Revenge of the Snails”.

*Amazingly, the one thing I can’t fuss about is roaming dogs, apart from doggy-poop.

*When it comes to parking at the shopping center, where the supermarket is located, drivers rule, OK? I am a driver and I am entitled to park where I want to, when I want to, for as long as I want to and the absolute hell with anyone and everyone else. Is this a loading zone only? - Tough luck. Is this space reserved for the medical profession only?  – Too damn bad. Is this parking space reserved for the handicapped? – Let them eat cake. Is this a “no parking” zone? Sorry, that can’t possibly apply to me.  

*There is a sidewalk that leads from the main road to the mall and supermarket, with parking spaces alongside. So, of course shoppers wheel their trolley full of goodies back to their parked cars adjacent to said sidewalk. Now, what do these drivers (which there must be since they are unloading their trolley’s goodies into cars) do with the now empty trolleys? Do they return the trolley to a designated return point for empty trolleys? Not on your life. The empty trolleys are just left on the adjacent sidewalk which means those using the sidewalk, can’t. People in wheelchairs; moms pushing prams; kids on bicycles; and of course ordinary pedestrians, have their access blocked, just because the driver can’t be bothered to spend one extra minute taking the trolley back to the appropriate trolley return area. I make a point of putting said sidewalk-blocking trolleys into the parking spaces. Drivers can inconvenience other divers, but not pedestrians - that’s my motto. 

*But of course trolleys get scattered far and wide. They tend to be abandoned all over the place. I’d like to blame kids, but I’ve seen way too many adults wheel the loaded trolleys home, then abandon them – but not too close to their home. 

*Speaking of that staple of western civilization, the shopping trolley, supermarkets have to employ lads to round them up when customers leave them scattered all over the place. Let’s just say that the local lads employed to perform such duties usually are doing anything but, nearly forever goofing off. I won’t say what ethnic background they’re from least I offend the innocent, but I wish I’d had it that easy way back when. 

IN THE SUPERMARKET

*It must be said at the outset that supermarkets are run by a for-profit organization and as such they use every sneaky marketing and psychological trick known to all in the retail trade to separate you from your money to the maximum extent possible. They may advertise themselves as your ‘friendly grocer’, but supermarkets are not your friend.

*I often find pre-school kids on the rampage in the supermarket; to them it’s a lovely playground. The parents could care less about proper supervision. As we all know, the supermarket isn’t a playground, though many a parent doesn’t seem to be aware of that, or more to the point, they can’t be bothered. They got enough on their plate trying to shop and talk or text at the same time.

*Of course it really makes for an enjoyable shopping experience when some pre-school brat is just screaming their head off at the top of their lungs – mom might be wearing ear plugs, but that doesn’t help the rest of the innocents. And it’s as certain as death and taxes that there will be always one such event per visit per supermarket. It’s one of those highly unpleasant inevitable facts of life that only death can give one a release from. In fact, to be blatantly honest, I’m of the opinion that just because a couple enjoy a roll in the hay, doesn’t mean that the rest of the world should have to endure and suffer the resulting product(s). Of course to the parents in question, that’s a non-issue. It’s ‘my little darling right or wrong’, and wrong is totally synonymous with right as in ‘my little darling always is right’.

*When it comes to mom and the kids, well, mom has really figured out a racket – how to feed the kids lunch at no expense to her. I’ve seen it again and again, mom wheeling the kid(s) along in the shopping trolley, grabbing a candy bar here, and bread rolls there, some grapes, etc. All are nicked off the shelf, given to the brat, and by the time she and brood rolls up to the checkout counter, all the evidence of what’s been nicked has been consumed, meaning there is no evidence and no product(s) to pay for. I’d like to say that’s confined to young mothers, but I’ve seen mature-aged women treat the supermarket as a free smorgasbord. I’m never seen an adult male help themselves to ‘free’ off-the-shelf food consumed in-store, but that’s not proof they don’t. Still, it does appear to be a primarily feminine trait. Help yourself to the goodies on display and help out the family budget. Of course it’s honest people like you and me that ultimately pay for this in higher grocery prices.  

*Speaking of brats, you just know that a lot of the kids you spot hanging around the mall and supermarket should really be in school. By wagging it, I guess they are just following the example set by their parents. It’s the kids’ version of the time honored adult sickie.

*There is an express twelve items or less lane, for those who have, well, twelve items or less. The numerate level of shoppers is obviously challenged for there are many who feel that a trolley full – say 60+ items – is obviously close enough to twelve to qualify for them to use the express lane. If, as a shopper standing behind them you politely point out the discrepancy, well let’s just say you’d better be prepared for a barroom brawl. The innumerate don’t like to have their mathematical abilities questioned. You’d think the staff would enforce store policy, but they won’t say anything and in fact they have been directed not to rock the boat and alienate a customer.

*Another irritation is that you often have two separate couples with trolleys who meet in an isle and have a right royal catch-up gossip session, totally blocking the isle to other customers yet totally oblivious to that fact; the fact that they are inconveniencing others.

AFTERWARDS

*However I too get my jollies. The parking lot is usually pretty full up, so when I leave and walk through the lot homeward bound, there often will be some driver slowly following behind me thinking I’m headed for my car and that they’ll get my parking spot when I load up and pull out. Alas, when I reach the parking lot’s perimeter I just keep on walking. Usually pisses them off no end, he-he. 

CONCLUSIONS

Of course in some parts of the world the ‘walk to the supermarket’ could be far worse. One could be mugged at best; blown up by a suicide bomber at worst. That’s something I’ve yet to experience.  

So, given this is just humanity in microcosm, and one really has to extrapolate to humanity in terms of the big picture, please let the culling being – pretty please. It’s really time for another dose of the ‘Big Wet’, say another forty days and nights of rain and thus another global flood! There of course would be survivors, but hopefully most of the dead-shits would be too preoccupied being their little nasty selves to notice until it was too late!

Universals of the Human Condition 2: Part Two

It’s pretty obvious that all humans share with all other humans various but fundamental universals. We all have a biological mother and father for example. One normally however associates every human being and every human society as unique in terms of their worldview. Yet there remain certain universals (like mom and dad) seemingly shared across the board by the great majority of individuals comprising any and all cultures. Some of these universals were explored in an earlier essay. Now let’s explore several more universals common to the human condition, which are innate to our internal psychology and/or based around external realities. 

Continued from yesterday’s blog…

Social Animal: Hermits are relatively few and far between. We voluntarily associate in large clusters usually like-with-like. That sometimes resulting in ghettos and/or ethnic neighbourhoods (like Chinatowns) which usually wasn’t quite the social issue in ancient history that it has tended to be in the latter three centuries. That the human species are a social animal is nowhere more dramatically brought to the fore than with the modern phenomena, something bordering a on pure obsession, of having to be in contact 24/7/52. People produce seemingly endless streams of emails; love the use of cams; blog the most trivial of trivia’s;  engage in so much text messaging that arthritis rates among the young are bound to skyrocket; engage in near endless mobile phone use; make posting after posting on social media sites like Facebook or Twitter (and similar sites), etc. We throw parties; dine together; attend all manner of functions with our peers, and on and on it goes. Such social activities aren’t confined to any one sex or age group or nationality. 

Sports: Contests, whether as harmless play, as a more formal and structured competition (be it amateur or professional) has been the case in all societies from the year dot through to the present day. The ancient Greeks had their Olympic Games; the Mesoamericans their ball-court contests where you just wouldn’t want to be on the losing side; Americans have their national pastime (baseball); other countries/cultures go fanatically mad over all manner of other sports be it rugby or soccer or ice hockey. One doesn’t even have to be a fan of or participate in team sports. Chess and wrestling just require one opponent; golf and tenpin bowling don’t even require that. Sporting contests have to rate as one of the most universal of human universals ever. 

Superstitions: This hardly requires any lengthy comment. From black cats, to walking under ladders, to Friday the 13^th, to breaking mirrors, avoiding stepping on sidewalk cracks, to Charlie Brown suiting up for his baseball games in a just so manner, etc. Every culture has had (and often still has) endless superstitions and rituals to ward them off, which we might shrug off as harmless nonsense today but which we’re not always taken with a proverbial grain of salt thrown over the shoulder. More than a few felines and women suffered the most horrible of tortures because of superstitions. 

Taboos: Every society everywhere at every time has had some set of taboos – some of which made sense like incest (inbreeding is bad from a Darwinian evolutionary perspective), but many that didn’t. For example, only the ancient Chinese emperor or empress was allowed to have the image of a dragon on their clothing; for everyone else that was taboo under penalty of death. Some foods are forbidden; some only forbidden or allowed on certain days – most illogical, unless for health reasons which usually wasn’t or isn’t the rational. And although all societies have or have had taboos, there’s often little consistency between them, or even within them. Royal families often engaged in incest even while being taboo among the commoners. But some societies allowed, even encouraged polygamy while others tabooed the practice. Go figure!

Territoriality: Animals usually stake out and defend a certain amount of territory, that amount of space required to sustain itself, space enough to find a mate in, sufficient territory to sustain and raise a family in. Animals rarely require more than that. They don’t grab territory just for the sake of grabbing territory and for bragging rights. Too large a space is indefensible anyway. You can only patrol so large a space with the resources at your command. Humans are obviously territorial. We defend our personal space. We’re uncomfortable if someone we don’t know gets within a certain distance of us. A man’s home is his castle, and we don’t care for trespassers. If foreign nations threaten or invade our country, we up the nationalistic fever and do our patriotic duty. And while the number of conflicts and wars have perhaps been given too much prominence in our history texts, it’s fair to say that many a nation has invaded many another nation(s) in order to acquire and expand their own territory. That’s usually for a practical purpose(s) – few go to war just for the hell of it. Often that reason(s) is obtaining required natural resources including human resources (slaves), or eliminating a potential threat before they eliminate you, or to provide more space for your expanding population to expand into. When it comes to expanding your territory, there are some less self-serving practical rationales with emphasis instead on more political, cultural, and/or religious reasons include unification – replacing say paganism with your brand of Christianity; communism vs. democracy.  

Treasure: Quite apart from pirates and buried treasure, bank robbers and stashed loot,  prospectors who keep losing the mother lode, or pharaoh’s grave goods (you can take it with you they thought) all societies have their cultural treasures, often in part composed of precious metals, jewels, pearls, jade, ivory, etc. but not always. Treasure to an entire culture or to an archaeologist does not always mean gold doubloons and X marks the spot! When societies are threatened by outside forces, an all too frequent occurrence in human history, they often hide or move those movable valuables comprising those cultural treasures. In the turmoil that follows, sometimes documentation becomes lost or destroyed, the items, scattered in diverse locations, also become lost as the mists of time thicken – and so you have lost treasure. If cultural treasures are looted by invaders, the fate is often the same – scattered to the four winds – some ending up in private collections; others stored/buried away and ultimately forgotten about. Valued objects are also lost by accident. There a lot of valuable cultural artefacts lost at sea when ships were sunk and there’s roughly three million shipwrecks worldwide; a lot of gold (and similar items) was lost in transport to the Old World from the New World including treasures of all sorts of interest only to archaeologists and historians. Some treasure ships (however you define them) have been uncovered and recorded; much more remains. The upshot is that there is an awful lot of treasure that remains unaccounted for, hidden, buried or just plain lost, and every culture can relate to that. But it’s not just treasure that’s universal in human civilizations. The whole concept of treasure is fascinating, even riveting to us as individuals, whether that treasure is modern or ancient; local or sited halfway around the world. And so it has been and probably forever will be.