Prehistoric Migrations: Issues Arising: Part One

Author’s Note: The scenarios within are those of a timeframe from roughly 13,000 to 200,000 years before the present, and thus way before the era of agricultural settlements. We’re dealing with our nomadic hunter-gatherer ancestors here. Key dates are: African origin of modern humans, Homo sapiens, at about 200,000 years ago; an Out-of-Africa migration started roughly 70,000 years ago; our global colonization (except for Antarctica and Oceania) was completed by 13,000 years ago.

Modern humans originated in Africa some 200,000 years ago – give or take. Further on down the timeline, some band(s) of African humans eventually migrated Out-of-Africa and ultimately colonized Planet Earth. That’s the standard anthropological model. However, within that standard scenario lie a lot of anomalous issues, some of which are explored here. An attempt to resolve these anomalies is presented.

When it comes to humans, here defined as Homo something or other, not necessarily just Homo sapiens, colonizing the world from Ground Zero, that’s Africa, well several problems arise.

Humans (as in Homo sapiens) originated in Africa and some ultimately did, slowly, ever so slowly, migrate Out-of-Africa (not that they actually were aware of this), eventually spreading out and colonizing the world (apart from Antarctica and Oceania east of Australia and west of South America) by at least 13,000 years ago. Exactly how is not fully understood, least of all by me. The central, but not exclusive, issue I have is with respect to our ways and means of trading in being exclusively nomadic land-lubbers for acquiring sophisticated maritime abilities as well; abilities required if our global colonization scenario is to be believed.

Problem One: Boats Required but No Show-Boats Found

When it comes to human migrations, there are certain lands that have been colonized by both Homo sapiens and Homo erectus that involved crossing reasonably vast expanses of ocean – vast at least for those cultures that existed over 60,000 years ago, when, for example, Australia was colonized by what’s today known as the Australian Aborigine. Even earlier, Homo erectus island-hopped the numerous Indonesian islands as attested to by fossil evidence. In both cases, these ancient cultures had to have acquired rather extensive boat-making, sailing and navigation skills that would allow a large enough population to cross over the ocean waters, since even during Ice Age conditions, these Indonesian islands, and Australia, were still isolated by oceans.

Sailing the oceans blue: that’s a pretty big ask for primitive humans all those tens upon tens of thousands of years ago. But, there’s another way of crossing the ocean blue – we do it all the time today. We don’t sail, we fly. Perhaps our ancient ancestors were flown to Australia and the Indonesian isles! Since aerial technology is even more outlandish than maritime technology, well, perhaps the aerial technology belonged to advanced beings – ancient aliens or ancient astronauts. One other observation in favour – there are fossil finds of this or that hominid species at A, B & C. Alas, geographical points A, B, & C are separated by thousands upon thousands of miles. No fossils are found at any points in-between A & B, or B & C. An obvious explanation, they didn’t migrate between A & B and B & C at several tens of kilometres per generation; they were flown from A to B to C, thus explaining the lack of fossils in-between - but more about that shortly.

Sooner or later in your nomadic hunter-gatherer wanderings you’re going to intersect the seashore! Rivers and streams you can wade across or swim across, maybe use a buoyant log to hold on to if need be. Lakes can be walked around. But the ocean!!! The oceans offshore must have been terrifying to our very ancient ancestors, and rightly so. The ocean is nothing if not unpredictable and dangerous: from huge waves, gales, riptides, strong currents, razor-sharp rocks and shoals, sharks, jellyfish, hypothermia, and just all sorts of unknowns lurking beneath the surface to add to your terrors. The tides must have seemed to be a purely supernatural manifestation, without natural explanation, an unexplainable action of the gods somehow saying “this is our domain, keep away”.

Would you rather be high and dry 10 miles inland or 10 miles out to sea trying to keep your head above water and not ending up as fish-food? It takes way less effort sit on the beach than to swim or sail in or on the ocean, and it’s a lot safer too!

Further, in most cases with no other land in sight, you haven’t a clue what’s on the other side of the ocean, if anything (maybe it goes on forever and forever), or how far across it is to the other side, and in any event you and your band of nomadic hunter-gatherers have more pressing needs, like finding today’s food and tonight’s shelter. The coastlines and seashores offers an abundance of food stuffs and resources: shellfish, crabs, turtles, seals, seabirds, fish, even seaweed (dried for fuel). Coastlines and seashores are good.

Are you really going to stop, make a raft and go sailing out into the pure unknown out of pure curiosity, though curiosity you probably have? No, in the daily hunt for survival you’ll probably ignore the ocean and just follow the coastline – which eventually will bring you to most places. If you come to an impassable barrier, it’s probably easier and far safer to trek inland for awhile than divert resources to swimming or rafting around the barrier with all the dangers that could entail. In any event, it’s not all that east building and sailing and navigating a seaworthy boat or raft from scratch without any handy-dandy how-to manual available. Further, you can’t drink the seawater so freshwater would have to be carried on any hypothetical voyage. Do you have leak-proof containers? If so, how much do you need to take? Who knows?

There are four possible or realistic routes out of Africa. Even during the Ice Ages when sea levels were lower, three involve an ocean crossing, which, I suggest our ancient ancestors would avoid. I think it is far easier, and safer, to just follow the coastline, so I opt for the sole land route, up the west coast of the Red Sea and on up either into the Levant, or back down the east coast of the Red Sea and on into Arabia. You can follow the African coastline ‘Out of Africa’ and eventually reach China, but not Australia, or Japan, or lots of S.E. Asian islands, the Channel Islands (off Southern California), Sri Lanka, etc. Yet you find ancient human and human artefact remains in these places, so our migrating nomadic ancestors obviously did build boats or rafts and sail the ocean blue and satisfy that curiosity, but the real why is unexplained – curiosity is not motive enough to put yourself in harms way. The fly in the ointment, in any event, and alas and alack, there are no boats or rafts to be found, actual remains or pictorial representations, in the prehistoric archaeological record. Boats and rafts are all probable boats and rafts; boats and rafts are assumed but not proven by any actual evidence. It’s a sort of ’Catch-22’. Boats and rafts must be, yet we can’t find them!

It must be said that because of the Ice Ages, ancient coastlines then are now underwater and presumably relevant telltale archaeology (as in remains of boats) is therefore also underwater. Even so, the issue remains that I find it difficult to believe our ancient ancestors would have been brave enough to stick their toes in the oceans without a damn good reason, yet, there were places colonized by early man that even at the height of the Ice Ages there existed no land bridges for them to cross over, say to Australia, New Zealand, Oceania, Japan, lots of S.E. Asian islands, and presumably lots of other islands, large and small. Conclusion: That’s a big anomaly that needs a resolution.

Problem Two: Paradise Lost

Crossing the oceans blue is just the start of anomalous migration issues. If money, language barriers, cultural differences, political systems, passports and visas, etc. were of no concern and you could travel to and live anywhere you wished, where would it be? Well, probably somewhere not too hot, not too cold, not too wet, nor too dry, a place where there are abundant natural resources of food, fresh water, wood, stone, and probably some sort of ascetically pleasing scenery, etc. With the exception of the scenery, all those other geographical and climatic factors would be even more pressing for our ancient ancestors with no access to supermarkets, hardware stores, air conditioning, central heating and tap water on demand. So the question arises, given a lack of population pressure way back when, a lack of pressure not driving migration away from paradise and toward hell, why did some of our ancient ancestors adopt a nomadic lifestyle in what we’d consider extreme environments, like arid regions, the tundra, etc.? 

Unlike today’s travellers, when our very remote ancestors roamed the plains of Africa, their nomadic wanderings or migrations were not geography directed. In an era where there was no radio and TV, newspapers and magazines, GPS and the Internet, encyclopaedias and travel agents, there was no knowledge of what was over the hill, beyond the horizon. Food availability directed your travels and migrations. You exhausted one patch of turf – you moved on to the next, and the next, and the next in a sort of random drunkards walk. Logic dictates that even so you didn’t wander out of paradise or a reason facsimile thereof. But eventually, like a drop of ink diffusing through a glass of water, the rest of the world, paradise, hell and points in-between, got invaded by our African out-of-towners – an invasive pest species that was to bring total death and destruction in their wake, but that’s another story. Anyway, why we colonized extremely hostile environments when more pleasant alternatives were available needs a resolution.

To be continued…

Origins of Agriculture

We’re aware that once upon a time our ancient ancestors lived day-to-day as nomadic hunters and gatherers. Then, roughly 10,000 years ago, in various locations around the globe, we ceased our wanderings, put down roots as rural agricultural-based settlements, and became civilized. Anthropologists cannot tell us why. Mythology does tell us why – the gift of agriculture was from the gods. What to those cultures were gods, we can interpret as ‘ancient astronauts’. 

One of the bigger mysteries in modern anthropology is the transition from nomadic hunter-gatherer lifestyles to agricultural-based settlements. This is known as the “Agricultural Revolution”. There are as many ideas and theories for the independent and relatively sudden transition from hunter-gatherer to settlements dependent of farming, as there are anthropologists who have pondered the issue. There are proposals for external factors vs. internal (social, cultural, economic) factors; global conditions vs. local conditions; climate related vs. population related; or a combination of circumstances: maybe even just the “it’s time” factor. The issue is the transition all happening at roughly the same time – about 10,000 years ago, give or take, in Europe, Mesoamerica, the Andean cultures, Egypt, the Middle East, Asia, etc. especially in the Fertile Crescent, N.E. China and Central America. Only North America (with the exception of the eastern half of what would become the United States), Australia and the far northern regions, like Siberia, retained for the most part a nomadic lifestyle.

But the really anomalous thing is that ever since our ancestors came down out of the trees and started walking upright, for all those millions of years, until roughly 10,000 years ago, we were hunter-gatherers or nomads. Then all of a sudden, wham, we settle down and raise crops and become ‘civilized’ just about universally across the social, cultural and geographical board. No one really has solid evidence to explain why.

The only idea NOT given or advanced is in fact the very one which human culture’s themselves give – in their global mythologies. Agriculture (including the domestication of various species of wildlife – cattle, sheep, goats, horses, etc.) was a gift from their gods. Human mythologies presumably written down and/or orally passed from one human generation to the next human generation, gives no credit to humans for the transition. Humans rarely pass up an opportunity to pat themselves of the back, but this is an exception to that generality. 

Humans have certain basic needs: air, water, sleep, certain temperature range and food. We’re instant experts at breathing (air) and sleeping. We don’t need to seek out, grow or harvest these. We have some control over temperature, and water supplies are usually pretty constant – rivers, springs, lakes, ponds, etc. Food is the dicey item.

The hunter-gatherer method of finding food takes less effort than agricultural tilling-the-fields settlements, so why settlements and why the shift from hunter-gatherer to agriculture is relatively short time frames in diverse parts of the world. Well, what the gods want, the gods get. And if the gods give you a gift, by the gods you’d better make use of it!

These gods (a sampling) oversaw and gave the gift of agriculture to humans thus explaining our transition from hunter-gatherers to settlements and civilization.

* Ninurta was the god of agriculture in the ancient Near East who taught all about crop production.

* Kumarbi: The Hittites had Kumarbi, the father of the gods and a grain deity.

* Osiris (Ancient Egypt): Before being bumped off and dismembered by his brother Seth (Set), and reassembled and resurrected by his sister-wife Isis, and promoted to god of the underworld, he was the god of agriculture who taught men (and women) how to raise corn and vines. That’s why ancient Egyptians depicted him with green skin. 

* Ceres was the Roman goddess of grain and agricultural fertility (from which we get the term cereal).

* Demeter was the Greek goddess and counterpart to Ceres; she was the goddess of corn, crops and fruit groves as well as fertility of the fields who taught humans agriculture.

* Triptolemus, under the direction and guidance of Demeter, brought people the gift of wheat and who spread the benefits of agriculture around the world.

* Chaac was the Mayan god of rain, hence a patron of agriculture like maize and vegetables and hence fertility.

* Xipe Totec was the Aztec god of maize and vegetation.

* Viracocha was a top Inca god who walked among humans, and, among other subjects, instructed students on agriculture. Further, Viracocha fathered two deities, Inti and Mama Quilla, who in turn had an offspring Manco Capac, the first Inca ruler, who also taught agriculture to his human subjects. The odd thing about Viracocha, the highest god in the Inca pantheon, was that he was depicted as pale, bearded with Caucasian features and with green eyes. This is quite akin to the Aztec deity Quetzalcoatl (Kakalcan to the Mayan and otherwise known throughout Mesoamerica under various aliases). They both, Viracocha and Quetzalcoatl departed their respective regions to head over and across the sea with an “I’ll be back” promise. That the Aztecs mistook the Spaniard Cortes for the return of Quetzalcoatl# speaks volumes about what Quetzalcoatl looked like – white, bearded, with Caucasian features. Alas, the enigma here is that there never was any cultural contact between Mesoamerica and the Incas, so why the similarity between Viracocha and Quetzalcoatl? Some New Agers view these white bearded deities of the Americas, who mysteriously vanish, as Jesus in the flesh. That aside, the important point is that Viracocha was a travelling professor of agriculture.

* Shennong: In Chinese mythology there’s Shennong, the farmer god who invented the plough and taught people how to farm.

* Inari was in Shinto Japanese mythology a rice and fertility god.

* Bulul was a Philippines rice god who looked over seeds and the harvest.

* Nummo or Nommo (hybrid creatures) of the African Dogon culture of Mali were teachers (from the star Sirius according to some) who taught farming to mankind.

Of course what our ancient ancestors viewed as supernatural gods and goddesses, we think of them today more akin to flesh-and-blood extraterrestrials (‘ancient astronauts’) who came to Earth long ago with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal humans of that era. The ‘gods’ would have conducted their worldwide agricultural tutorials at roughly the same time, say about 10,000 years ago. Being practical, they ignored regions impractical for low-tech sustainable agriculture like vast deserts, the tundra, tropical rain forests, etc.

Now the obvious question is why would the ‘gods’ want to give us the gift of agriculture in the first place? That can probably be summed up by the Biblical phrase “be fruitful and multiply”. In a hunter-gatherer society, babies are a burden. They contribute no labour, consume resources, and divert time and energy required for their care away from the daily survival tasks at hand. Since you have to carry your newborn brat around, being a nomadic troop, it hinders your hunting-gathering, so it is best to keep your brats well spaced – every four or five years apart minimum, so one brat can start to contribute a bit to the greater good before your next one pops out into the world.

But once in a settlement scenario, with a reliable food supply, you can start dropping your little bundles of joy nearly every year. There will be the establishment of a sort of child care centre or facility where one person, unable for health or elderly reasons to work the fields can look after all the little darlings, leaving mum free to toil away in the rice paddies or whatever. Though infant mortality will take its toll in either a hunter-gatherer society or in a settlement community, the more frequently bundles are dropped, the faster the population will increase; more workers to produce new and widen fields already under cultivation; build buildings, etc. And of importance too, once you take up a settlement way of life, then you have a need to defend that territory since a lot of sweat and toil went into staking out the community’s land claim and making it productive. A rapid population increase makes defending your turf easier.

But what’s in it for the ‘gods’? Two things - first mythologies around the world are full of references that the ‘gods’ created humans to do the hard work, just like the CEO and Board of Directors of a mining company hires the great unwashed to actually do the hard work – go down into the mines with picks and shovels, etc. while the CEO and company watches from on high: more population – more workers. That’s probably the real reason Adam and Eve got booted out of Eden and directed to start the daily grind and toil of farming (Genesis 3:23). It was probably all a setup from the get-go.

Secondly, what do ‘gods’ want? Well, to be worshiped. Do you get a greater buzz out of a hundred people bowing and scraping down and building small monuments to you, or a thousand or a million doing the same and building great big monuments to your glory? No dictator ever wants to appear in public and not have anyone turn out to render a worshiping salute. 

Having achieved their objective, well it’s on to the next inhabited planet for another challenge in civilizing the great unwashed.

And so, thanks to the ‘gods’, or ‘ancient astronauts’, most of us no longer have to wander the lands in search of our daily bread!

# In all fairness, not all scholars believe there actually was a connection.

Relatively Painless Health Tips for Us Pensioners

Of all your possessions, your personal health is the most valuable and something that can’t be readily replaced once lost or damaged. There are going to be elements of your health beyond your control – you can’t stop the aging clock. But, many facets of your overall health are under your own control. Being healthy doesn’t translate into having to endure lots of dietary, etc. pain or restrictions.

Since the Year Dot there have been billions of articles, pamphlets, books, documentaries, Internet web sites, and other personal opinions that instruct you in how to be a healthier you. Over the millennia, all and sundry collectively have apparently achieved positive results – the average human lifespan keeps on keeping on increasing. No doubt each and every person has their own personal best way or philosophy of maintaining their health, and won’t hesitate to pass on their secrets to everyone else!

Yes indeed, everybody and their grandmother has THE solution to a healthy lifestyle and longevity. My dear old departed grandmother’s sole piece of advice to me as a child was to chew 32 chews with every bite of food. Even then I thought that was just about the dumbest piece of advice I’d ever received, and still do – no offence grandma. However, she lived to a ripe old age of 78 (that’s not a bad innings), so what do I know? I doubt I’ll make it that far. Anyway, different strokes for different folks, that’s my motto or philosophy. But as grandma had her go, here is mine, and forget the 32 chews!

Aspirin: There are lots of studies that suggest the common aspirin tablet has a mostly beneficial aspect to the average person if taken once a day or several times a week. However, not all people react positively to aspirin, and in some people can cause unwanted side effects like bleeding ulcers. See your medical practitioner first before taking an aspirin a day, but overall the vast majority of the population will benefit, not so much from the apple-a-day, but the aspirin-a-day.

Calcium: There are lots of trace elements essential to health, in this case having good solid bones that won’t crumble to dust in your maturing years. That something is calcium, most often found in dairy products. I get my daily dose from a cheese fix, but other dairy products are available. Don’t like dairy products? Well, one can buy over-the-counter calcium supplements instead.

Companion animals: Own a pet(s). Pet-a-puss! Lots of studies have suggested that having little something else in your life to focus on, something that can focus back on you – provide reinforcement to your attention – is beneficial to your state of mind, and mind influences the state of the health of the body. Translated, that something else is an animal companion (on the assumption that by the time health becomes an issue, that other ‘pet’, your kids, are no longer that something else in your day-to-day life; they are no longer your dependents. Companion animals however will forever and a day be dependent on you. So, not only will you thank the animal; the animal will thank you for being a loving guardian and looking after its welfare.

Dietary sins: There are about four of these with both pluses and minuses attached. 1) Alcohol provides calories, but empty (non-nutritional) calories. However, studies suggest that some alcohol is beneficial to mind and body. 2) Salt doesn’t provide any calories, and some salt is essential to a well functioning body, but too much can cause problems with blood pressure, etc. 3) Fats are high in calories, but also provide some essential nutrition; 4) Sugar, like alcohol, provides lots of empty calories. Since you need calories, sugar can have a positive role to play, but too much – well, a moment on the lips; forever on the hips.

It’s probably not likely for anyone to go the minimum route on all four ‘sins’. I say indulge in a reasonable way in two out of four that most appeal; absolute minimums on the other two. I personally take alcohol over sugar products; salt over fat, so I have a relatively large high alcohol, high salt diet, but I’ve nearly eliminated fat and sugar. Life’s too short to try for dietary perfection unless you’re content with a minimum sugar, fat, alcohol and salt diet. You’ve got to strike a balance between what you like, and what’s good for you.

Exercise: Experts suggest that everyone get a minimum of a half-hour of mild exercise/day. That’s real easy if you like walking, cycling, swimming, golf, or a host of other physical activities. On the other hand, I’ve never seen a jogger smile while running! If you don’t, like jogging, etc., then I suggest combining a half-hour of mild exercise while doing something else, accomplishing something else, that’s overall constructive at the same time as a substitute, something that you’re going to have to do anyway. That could be vigorous workout at housework; a half-hour of gardening; or, in my case, a half-hour walk, but to the store and back to buy the daily groceries or get other shopping done. Two birds with one stone. 

Genetics: It helps if you have a good genetic heritage. Actually you have no control over that, but by knowing the strengths, weaknesses, risks, and what did in your ancestors (parents, grandparents, etc.) you can take appropriate lifestyle steps to minimize your risk of going down life’s gurgler the same way.

Gums: I heard a long time ago that it was just as important to brush your gums as your teeth; a kind of massage for them, which probably helps to stimulate the blood flow through them and keep them healthy. Healthy gums make for better teeth. It sure ain’t because gums get cavities and need fillings! Anyway, I’ve adopted the practice and still have all my teeth firmly in place.

Hobbies: If you sit around the house bored out of your skull, that’s not good for your mental state which in turn has an effect on your physical well being. Hobbies help stimulate the mind, and everyone should have a hobby – actually several in case one loses its appeal for a while or peters out for one reason or another. One shouldn’t of course be weather dependent. I hear that mind gambes like chess or crossword puzzles or solving paradoxes or figuring out whodunits are especially useful for older, less able to be active, seniors. Hobbies don’t have to be expensive, though that’s between you and your bank manager if your hobby is collecting Rembrandts!

Iron: Iron is another one of those other trace elements that are essential to life and limb – okay, not so much a limb; rather in this case healthy blood. Foods rich in iron aren’t my thing, so I take an iron tablet as a dietary supplement. That works for me. But if you like lots of liver and spinach, you’re doing okay in the iron department.

Lifespan: I read a long time ago that two geographical regions had the longest and healthiest life-spans for their residents – The Japanese and those surrounding the Mediterranean region. In the former case, it was due to a diet high in fish. In the later case, it was due to a diet high in tomatoes. Both fish (and fish oils) and tomatoes apparently have positive values when it comes to contributing to overall healthy benefits.

Music: Music soothes the savage beast. Translated, listening to your favourite music has positive effects on your mental state; a positive mental state translates into a positive physical state – mind over matter. A happy mind makes for a healthy body. 

Organics: Eating organic foods are healthy eating right? Well, labelling something as ‘organic’ is just a PR rip-off designed to separate more of your money from you than you would otherwise pay for the same product but without the ‘organic’ label. One shop owner proudly displayed meat labelled with the word ‘organic’. I asked him to show me his range of presumably cheaper inorganic meats and of course he couldn’t since there is no such thing. All meat is organic. But the absolute height of idiocy was seeing a display of bottled water labelled ‘organic’. Now since does water contain the element carbon, which is what the word organic means, or should mean, as in organic chemistry – the chemistry of carbon compounds? And bottled water is another total rip-off. Tap water is just as good, cheaper and there’s no plastic bottles left over littering up the landscape. Actually, when my cats are faced with a choice of fresh tap water in their water bowl, or a rainwater puddle to drink out off, wild water wins hands down. Wild animals do very nicely drinking water that’s far less pure than what comes out of your kitchen or bathroom tap.

Purpose in life: You really need a reason(s) to get out of bed in the morning – some purpose in life. If you have no really real reason to get out of bed in the morning, you’ll vegetate. You may hate to get out of bed in the morning, but if you have a real reason to, a purpose, a responsibility to something above and beyond yourself, you’ll do it. There’s 101 plus purposes you could adopt as your own – charity work for one.

Sleep: Sleep is a very important part of our lifestyle. Much like oxygen and food and water, you can’t go on very long without it. And different people require differing amounts of sleep per day. However, as your time left on Earth as a living, breathing entity gets less and less; it’s seemingly a waste to spend one third or thereabouts of what’s left to you in limbo – asleep. You have personally got to decide for yourself a trade-off between quality of life remaining (lots of sleep; fully rested) and quantity of life (bugger sleep, live life 24/7/52) that’s left to you.

Smoking: Don’t smoke. Smoking is about as unnatural act as you can do and there is no shortage of nasties that are linked with smoking.

Stress: We all have to deal with stress to some degree or other. Mother Nature, fellow humans, politicians, and the tax man all throw curveballs at us 24/7/52. I’m sure even the world’s richest human; dictators, presidents and prime ministers, the British Royal Family; and associated pampered upper-crusts have to deal with some stress now and again. No one is ever stress-free all the time. Surprisingly, some stress is beneficial. It keeps you focused and on your toes. Too much stress stresses the mind too much which has an effect on the rest of the body – ulcers if nothing else. The only advice I have is plan ahead where possible to minimise or deflect future stressful situations; and try not to worry over those things you have absolutely no control over. It also helps if you have a friendly shoulder to cry on!

Thinning your blood: An ancient remedy for whatever ailed you was often to have leeches attached to your skin and having some of the blood sucked out of you. Apparently that had positive results in many cases. I’m not going to advocate you attach leeches to you, but there is one way to thin your blood, obviously beneficial to you, and also to others, and that’s to donate blood on a regular base if eligible. Losing 500 ml of your blood every 12 weeks doesn’t harm you one jot. Not everyone can donate of course – an aspirin a day can accomplish a bit of thinning as well or as an alternative. 

Variety is the spice of life: Don’t stick yourself in a total rut, even if routine is comfortable. Vary your daily routine or diet, even if just a little, so as to experience something new. If the one-off experiment flubs, well nothing ventured, nothing gained. You can then try something else. If you can’t find one tiny variation to your normal routine or diet per week, you’re not trying hard enough.

Waste products: Unfortunately, the very process of living means that your body has to intake various chemicals, process them, and eliminate the unwanted residues – waste products. There are four ways the body eliminates or gets rid of waste products – sweating, exhaling, urine and faeces. You don’t have any real control over exhaling – mainly carbon dioxide. You have relatively little control over sweating, which mainly eliminates salt from your system (which is not always good; your body needs some salt); you also don’t have much of a say in your more solid wastes. However, you can have some control over all those waste products that build up but ultimately get eliminated in your urine. You don’t want those waste products hanging around any longer than necessary. You can drink water, or products/foods that contain a lot of water. Extra water has to be eliminated, and along with it those other waste products that have accumulated. So, drinking lots of liquids, or eating foods which contain a lot of water like pasta, eliminates waste products building up in your blood stream that much faster. Good riddance to bad rubbish that does you no good while inside of you. 

Weight loss: There is one and only one way to lose weight. You have to burn more calories than you ingest. Say you need 2000 calories/day but want to lose weight. Most people go on a crash diet of say 500 calories/day and they are miserable. My solution is to ingest 1800 calories. Sure, weight loss will take longer, but because there’s hardly any real pain, it’s sustainable and you eventually achieve your goal. The other alternative is to keep ingesting your quota of 2000 calories, but start to burn off 2200 calories/day – like getting a bit more exercise. Then too, you could both eat just a little bit less; exercise just a little bit more. Rome wasn’t built in a day; weight loss isn’t a one-day affair either. Think long term.

Finally, for a happy healthy life, empty what’s full; fill what’s empty; scratch where it itches.

P.S. Essays like this are all well and good, but they are no substitute for consulting your favourite heath professional/medical practitioner for spot-on up-close-and-personal advice that conforms to your specific needs.

Humans Have the Intelligence; Animals Have the Smarts: Part Three

There’s no question that of all species on Planet Earth, modern humans, Homo sapiens, are top of the pops when it comes to intelligence (IQ). All other species, however close they might be in evolutionary terms to modern humans, pale in comparison. BUT, and there’s always a BUT, animals are way smarter, which raises questions about our actual relationship to them. Here I give numerous examples where animals are top of the pops when it comes to pure smarts.

Continued from yesterday’s blog…

MENTAL CONCEPTS

Birth, Death & Deities: Animals have no concept of their own death, hence an afterlife. They have no remembrance of their conception and probably their birth and of the concept of creation. Animals therefore have no need of religion and deities. Animals therefore have to carry around a lot less philosophical baggage. Humans however are obsessed with these concepts, really all unnecessary philosophical baggage IMHO.

Economics & Finance: No animal jumped out of windows at the start of the Great Depression. They lose no shuteye over the tax man, and bills are something on ducks.

Lifestyle: Animals don’t need to go to the ‘beauty’ parlour for a quick pick-me-up. The whole idea of a social scene – the right venue, the in-crowd, being seen with the ‘right’ people – is totally foreign to them. What to wear is a non-issue. The current must have fashions (doomed to be out of date within months if not less) is just so much ho-hum. There’s no need or desire for tattoos and body piercing. The latest celebrity scandal in the tabloids is a non-event. Collectables aren’t. A snazzy sports car or any other boy toy is boring. Animals don’t suffer from information overload. Because animals don’t purchase any products, they can’t be held responsible for any litter that arises (of which there is plenty). Humans however engage in this ever ongoing, never ending, pursuit in quest of the ‘good life’ and are usually never satisfied. Animals just enjoy life as best they can one day at a time – they live for the moment. 

Drugs: Animals do not wilfully harm themselves with substances foreign to their day-to-day survival. Humans – well there’s caffeine, smoking, drinking alcohol, all sorts of recreational drugs with varying degrees of mental addiction and artificial ‘stimulation’. Need one say more!

Harmful Habits: Animals do not engage in habits harmful to their wellbeing other than what’s required for basic survival, like say a predator taking on prey way larger than itself, defending your offspring from attack, or herds crossing a raging river on an annual migration. Then there are head-butting type contests over mating rights, but they usually result in a back-down, not death or extreme injury. Of course animals are still hardwired for the natural environment. Their eons ago development and evolution hasn’t caught up with our modern civilization yet, and so dogs may chase cars, and the road kill is additional evidence of how humans put animals in harms way – they don’t do it because they are suicidal. Humans, well from tattoos to body piercing to baking in the sun for an unnecessary suntan to extreme sports, humans like to take on risk without any possible actual additional benefit. Habits aside, humans, usually young macho males with way too much testosterone, like to put themselves in harms way – demonstrate the ‘right’ stuff. Pity more of them didn’t end up with a Darwin Award and remove themselves from the gene pool! I’ll drink to that since such self-destruct events wouldn’t bother me one iota.

Mental Health: Animals, left to their own devices, are in no need of a shrink. It’s only when humans try to force a (square) companion animal into their requirement of a (round) behavioural hole that problems arise. Companion animals under the influence of their human associations have ‘need’ of pet psychologists, or at least some of them apparently do according to the human, and really it’s ultimately the human’s fault. Do you think any wild animals have any such need of a shrink? No? I didn’t think so. Humans of course are often on the couch for counselling and therapy of one sort or another; the list way to long to detail in a short essay.

Isms: Animals do not discriminate on the grounds of gender or appearance. A ginger male cat will accept or reject a black male cat on grounds that have nothing to do with fur colour. A white female cat might pick and choose between lots of male cats and reject them all – that doesn’t mean she’s sexist or prefers female cats. Humans on the other hand, accept or reject other humans on just such distinctions, plus a whole host of other ‘isms’ that animals have no conception of in the first place. 

Opinions: Animals ask no questions; tell no lies; mind their own business; take everything at face value. Humans – can you say the same about you and the rest of the human race? Let’s face it; humans do anything but mind their own business. They happily pass judgements on any other lifestyle (especially one involving sex in any shape manner or form) that doesn’t conform to their own moral standards.

HUMAN-ANIMAL INTERACTIONS I’D LIKE TO SEE

What about jockeys carrying the horses around on their backs as they run around the race track! Now that would be worth watching!

How about a human three-ring circus with an animal audience!

In fact, just about any human-animal role reversal would be interesting.

CONCLUSIONS

So what does this analysis tell us about the differences between humans and ‘mere’ animals? We’ve seen there are many fundamental differences between way overrated humans (overrated by our own human opinions of ourselves of course) and way underrated animals (again, underrated according to the relatively biased opinions of humans). If the human-animal differences are due to natural selection, then there is a puzzlement in why did the rest of the animal kingdom take the ‘smart’ and commonsense road while humans took the intelligence road? While I’m sure there is an evolutionary connection between animals and the human animal, I also think there is some hidden variable(s) that caused the human branch to head off into uncharted territory (and go off the rails). If these differences (the hidden variables) are due to God, what does that tell you about what God is like?  Nothing good, that’s for sure! If it’s artificial selection, but not due to anything supernatural, then things get interesting.

The celebrated astrophysicist/cosmologist Stephen Hawking, among many others, is a strong advocate of humans boldly going and colonizing space as the only viable way of ensuring our long term survival. The Big Question however in my mind is should humanity infect the wider cosmic scene? Isn’t it enough one ‘pale blue dot’ has to suffer our lot? So, ET, if you are out there; be afraid, be very afraid!

Humans Have the Intelligence; Animals Have the Smarts: Part One

There’s no question that of all species on Planet Earth, modern humans, Homo sapiens, are top of the pops when it comes to intelligence (IQ). All other species, however close they might be in evolutionary terms to modern humans, pale in comparison. BUT, and there’s always a BUT, animals are way smarter, which raises questions about our actual relationship to them. Here I give numerous examples where animals are top of the pops when it comes to pure smarts.

Humans have the highest IQ; but animals have vastly more commonsense. How so? Let’s consider various settings, starting with one we all share – time and space.

TIME & SPACE

Wake Up: Animals will wake up when their biological clocks tell them it’s time to wake up. Humans wake up when the alarm clock rings!

Going to Sleep: Animals go to sleep when their biological clocks tell them to go to sleep (including catnaps). Humans go to sleep after their favourite TV program finishes, like the late, late show! Humans push the boundaries and often refuse to rest even when their bodies tell them it’s desirable. An afternoon catnap ultimately increases productivity, but how many workplaces encourage napping (even briefly) on the job?

Time: All animals have a sense of time, a biological clock. However, unlike humans, one cannot suggest that animals are anywhere near as obsessed with time as are humans. Humans, like animals, regulate their activities by the ‘clock’, only with humans it tends to be not a vague time, like with animals – just sometime soon as long as the Sun’s up - but timed to not only the minute, but often the second. The factory whistle; the timing (start and stop) of a sports event; the start of your TV program, are all programmed down to the second. New Years Day isn’t New Years Day until precisely the tiniest split second post midnight. Scientific measurements are down to the nanosecond; that phone call is expected at exactly 9:15 a.m., etc. You’d be hard-pressed to imagine an animal needing to wear a wristwatch or operate a stopwatch! 

Holidays & Anniversaries; Animals attach zero importance to holidays and anniversaries. Humans are obsessed with them, an obsession which often takes a financial, social, physical and mental toll.

Vacations & Weekends: Animals don’t need a break from their daily routine. Humans require (or at least think they do) annual (or more frequent) time off and away from the routine, not to mention the “thank god it’s Friday” syndrome. What does that really say about modern human society?

Territory: Animals will occupy and defend as much territory as is necessary for their survival and the continuation of their species. Humans however will often try to possess and rule over as much territory, property, as possible, sometimes for economic (investment) reasons; often for sheer power for the sake of power. Humans are rarely satisfied with what they control – they always want more and More and MORE. [See also: Domination]

MATTER & ENERGY

Possessions: Animals have no urge to acquire things, other than that required for survival (like building a nest or storing away food for the winter). Humans – well, what’s the expression, “keeping up with the Jones family” or “shop till you drop”!

FILL WHAT’S EMPTY

Eating #1: Wild animals, who don’t know when and where their next meal might come from, will make hay while the sun shines. Humans, even when they know where and when their next meal comes from, will still over indulge, especially on certain festive or special occasions.  [See also: Obesity]

Eating #2: An animal, assuming food is available, will eat when it is hungry – a natural state of affairs. A human will eat according to a schedule, at fixed times, when the dining room is open, when the office clock and the boss says “go to lunch now”, regardless of need – an artificial (phoney) state of affairs.

Eating #3: A wild animal eats natural foods, as Mother Nature (natural selection & evolution) intended it should. Humans tend to eat processed foods, full of preservatives and other artificial chemicals (all to after-the-fact found to be harmful, maybe even carcinogenic), often laden with additional salts, sugars, fats, and other tasty bits that don’t usually give the human any additional nutritional benefits.

Obesity: A few companion animals are allowed to overeat and put on too much weight, because their owners, out of ‘kindness’ overfeed them. However, most cats and dogs, etc. are pretty good at self-regulating their intake and saying “enough” when it’s enough, even if presented with an unlimited food supply. In humans, the obesity epidemic in the developed world, like the USA, Australia and similar countries is totally out of control despite thousands of diet books, articles, DVDs, websites and fitness gyms seemingly on every street corner. Now I have a normal quota of male hormones, but a good third of all females between 15 and 35 don’t rate a first glance, far less a second because they are very unpleasingly plump (and that’s being kind).

EMPTY WHAT’S FULL

Bathroom/Toilet: Animals go potty when the need arises. Humans go after the meeting or during intermissions, whatever. Such restrictions are often unpleasant, but humans impose such restrictions on themselves. Animals have no sympathy for us.

Greenhouse Gases: My cats can certainly pass wind. Cows and methane are a well know duo. Humans are expected to refrain from emitting greenhouses in the presence of others other than exhaled carbon dioxide and water vapour.

SCRATCH WHERE IT ITCHES

Itches & Twitches: If an animal itches, it scratches and doesn’t give a damn if anything or anybody is observing. Humans, in the company of polite society at least, usually refrain from scratching, especially in certain places. They suffer the itchy/twitchy consequences!

To be continued…

Humans Enslaved: Part One

Humans can be enslaved in all manner of ways. By force by others is the usual image, but there is conscription and of course the bowing and scraping that’s part and parcel of being a law-abiding citizen. You probably feel a slave at work, but at least its voluntary and you do get paid for it. What I’m on about here is self-enslavement and how you willingly dance to the many tunes of the numerous pied pipers.

By “humans enslaved” I mean not so much physical ownership and physical slavery imposed on you by others, the form of slavery that has been and often still is practiced in the world, but often self imposed mental slavery. You are a slave and what is enslaving you is in fact you. But if you want a scapegoat, you can pin the blame on society for brainwashing you in the first place since none of what follows is hardwired or innately carved into your little grey cells.

TIME: The basic premise here is that when the clock ticks, you jump. How often do we say “Can’t talk now”; “I’m late”; “Gotta run”; “Its kick-off time” or its time for (the meeting, catching the train, the dinner party, etc.). It never ends. Alarm clocks, the factory siren, the referee’s whistle, your life is regulated by the clock from the moment you get up in the morning till the moment you lie down at night. You are indeed a slave to Father Time!

MONEY: Money is not always of root of all evil. Some people are just born nasty! Still, the average person worships the great dollar bill (or equivalent), and for good reason – you avoid getting a “go to jail” card since you can pay your bills. But quite apart from the necessities – bills, the rent/mortgage, food, clothing, heat, education and medicine – we tend to be slaves in not just needing, but wanting, more and more and more, and more and more and more requires more and more and more money. And thus, a major part of our existence and purpose is to acquire wealth – and that’s hardly something that’s modern to the here and now. It’s been that way since Methuselah was a brat in diapers (and even before that when you consider those Ancient Egyptian tomb robbers). If your bank account is bigger than anyone else’s, well it’s the golden rule – them who has the gold makes the rules. Be it gold or the dollar bill, you’re a slave in pursuit.  

POSSESSIONS: Be it gold or the dollar bill, you’re a slave in pursuit. Why? You want things, stuff, possessions. You get bragging rights if your (fill in the blank) is bigger, more expensive, and/or larger in quantity, than that of your peers. You are a slave to obtaining stuff way above and beyond the basic necessities for all sorts of psychological reasons. Instead of the application of “enough is enough”, you let the concept of “shop till you drop” rule your mental roost.  

FADS & FASHIONS - THE LATEST MUST-HAVES: You are blitzed with hundreds of ads per day, in print, on TV, on the radio, on the Internet, even non-promotional ‘ads’ in the form of news stories, articles, etc. that note and log trends in society. You are told, via these ads and ‘ads’ what’s hot and what’s not. What’s the latest style in ladies shoes? What are the latest in-colours? Should you get carpet or tiles? What’s the newest kitchen gadget? What’s the newest toy? What’s all the latest rage in laptops? What’s the hottest new TV show either on TV or on DVD? The list of fads and fashions that you MUST HAVE are as lengthy as a telephone book! From the hula hoop to the whitewall tire; from the microwave to the convertible; from the espresso coffeemaker to the miniskirt (or hotpants); now what’s the latest bestseller in books? Who’s the latest artist with a top ten hit? Of course multi-millions part with their $$$ all in pursuit of owning the latest MUST HAVE – actually it’s MUST HAVES, hundreds of MUST HAVES. And so we are slaves to Madison Avenue and equivalents around the county and around the world. And it must work. The ads have enslaved us (though the buck stops with you) otherwise there’d be no new fads and MUST HAVE fashions. But of course today’s MUST HAVE is next week’s BORING, to be replaced of course with a newer version of MUST HAVES! It never ends. 

MARKETING: Even if you apparently don’t want unnecessary possessions and don’t partake of the latest fads and fashions, there’s a whole marketing enterprise out there designed to make you reconsider and dance to their tune; grab you by the privates and make your heart, mind and wallet follow to the beat of their drum. You’re hopelessly outnumbered and outgunned. There are numerous ploys or tricks into making you cough up your money, often slogans and buzz phrases.  See if you recognize a few: “Last chance”; “Never to be repeated”; “Our pain is your gain”; “Below cost”; “No extra cost to you”; “Hurry, last days”; “On sale”; “Exclusive to”; “Limited offer”; “Limited edition”; “Once in a lifetime offer”; “Sale ends…”; “Limited time only”; “Buy two get one free”, and hundreds more buzz phrases. There are many variations on the theme. I mean this type of strategy works; otherwise the strategy would have been abandoned eons ago. You may think you’re immune, but the odds are your enslaved just the same. 

APPEARANCES: If there ever was an obsession, this is it. From time immemorial, anyone and everyone has been a slave to how they appear to anyone and everyone else. But if you stop and think about it, what counts is the real you, what you represent; your characteristics; your personality. How you dress, your hairstyle, your makeup, your adornments, your house, your car; your social smarts and etiquette are really irrelevant. If you go to work in a smart suit and tie, or in your birthday suit, neither has anything whatever to do with how competent you are to do the job you are paid to do. A Nobel Prize winner is still a Nobel Prize winner even if he plays the bongo drums, likes to visit strip clubs, womanise, and lists safecracking as a hobby! Without naming names, the late Nobel Prize winning theoretical quantum physicist Richard P. Feynman’s book “What Do You Care What Other People Think?” should sum up the concept that superficial appearances are just that – superficial. Would you sooner go down in history as a snappy dresser without a hair out of place, or as an Einstein, notorious for having a rather poor sense of adornments or dress sense?  

LIFESTYLE: You can accept the fact that some people are better athletes than you; some people are smarter than you; some people are better at leadership than you. But you probably cannot accept that some people have, and deserve to have, a better lifestyle than you.

Humans constantly compare themselves to others. It’s hard not to when the lifestyle of others, especially the rich and famous, are thrust in our faces by all manner of ways and means; from quality news sources to the tabloids. And much like the often artificial desire for stuff, to have the latest gadget, to be attractive to the rest of the world, so too do we cultivate in our mind’s eye an idealistic lifestyle that we can strive for, but never achieve, since we keep rasing the bar because someone else’s bar is above ours. No matter what your lifestyle level is, you know someone who has a better lifestyle, and since you feel you are their equal (or probably their better) you acquire an attitude “I deserve”.

Two points: someone has to be ‘top dog’, and that ‘top dog’ is relative. ‘Top dog’ could mean wealth; it could mean health; it could mean education, it could be fame; it could be achievement, it could mean lots of things, but it’s not going to all of the above simultaneously. So, you have to pick-and-choose what lifestyle means to you. But whatever criteria you choose to pursue, of course someone else will have already scaled that Mount Everest. Rather than accept your place in life as somewhat below the summit, you often become enslaved to reach the summit too. Of course with lots of people desiring the same, that summit in theory could get awfully crowded, and as we all know from childhood, there can only be one “king of the mountain” at ay one time. That fact however never seems to reduce your enslavement to climb, ever climb and knock that other bastard off their perch!

To be continued…