Relatively Painless Health Tips for Us Pensioners

Of all your possessions, your personal health is the most valuable and something that can’t be readily replaced once lost or damaged. There are going to be elements of your health beyond your control – you can’t stop the aging clock. But, many facets of your overall health are under your own control. Being healthy doesn’t translate into having to endure lots of dietary, etc. pain or restrictions.

Since the Year Dot there have been billions of articles, pamphlets, books, documentaries, Internet web sites, and other personal opinions that instruct you in how to be a healthier you. Over the millennia, all and sundry collectively have apparently achieved positive results – the average human lifespan keeps on keeping on increasing. No doubt each and every person has their own personal best way or philosophy of maintaining their health, and won’t hesitate to pass on their secrets to everyone else!

Yes indeed, everybody and their grandmother has THE solution to a healthy lifestyle and longevity. My dear old departed grandmother’s sole piece of advice to me as a child was to chew 32 chews with every bite of food. Even then I thought that was just about the dumbest piece of advice I’d ever received, and still do – no offence grandma. However, she lived to a ripe old age of 78 (that’s not a bad innings), so what do I know? I doubt I’ll make it that far. Anyway, different strokes for different folks, that’s my motto or philosophy. But as grandma had her go, here is mine, and forget the 32 chews!

Aspirin: There are lots of studies that suggest the common aspirin tablet has a mostly beneficial aspect to the average person if taken once a day or several times a week. However, not all people react positively to aspirin, and in some people can cause unwanted side effects like bleeding ulcers. See your medical practitioner first before taking an aspirin a day, but overall the vast majority of the population will benefit, not so much from the apple-a-day, but the aspirin-a-day.

Calcium: There are lots of trace elements essential to health, in this case having good solid bones that won’t crumble to dust in your maturing years. That something is calcium, most often found in dairy products. I get my daily dose from a cheese fix, but other dairy products are available. Don’t like dairy products? Well, one can buy over-the-counter calcium supplements instead.

Companion animals: Own a pet(s). Pet-a-puss! Lots of studies have suggested that having little something else in your life to focus on, something that can focus back on you – provide reinforcement to your attention – is beneficial to your state of mind, and mind influences the state of the health of the body. Translated, that something else is an animal companion (on the assumption that by the time health becomes an issue, that other ‘pet’, your kids, are no longer that something else in your day-to-day life; they are no longer your dependents. Companion animals however will forever and a day be dependent on you. So, not only will you thank the animal; the animal will thank you for being a loving guardian and looking after its welfare.

Dietary sins: There are about four of these with both pluses and minuses attached. 1) Alcohol provides calories, but empty (non-nutritional) calories. However, studies suggest that some alcohol is beneficial to mind and body. 2) Salt doesn’t provide any calories, and some salt is essential to a well functioning body, but too much can cause problems with blood pressure, etc. 3) Fats are high in calories, but also provide some essential nutrition; 4) Sugar, like alcohol, provides lots of empty calories. Since you need calories, sugar can have a positive role to play, but too much – well, a moment on the lips; forever on the hips.

It’s probably not likely for anyone to go the minimum route on all four ‘sins’. I say indulge in a reasonable way in two out of four that most appeal; absolute minimums on the other two. I personally take alcohol over sugar products; salt over fat, so I have a relatively large high alcohol, high salt diet, but I’ve nearly eliminated fat and sugar. Life’s too short to try for dietary perfection unless you’re content with a minimum sugar, fat, alcohol and salt diet. You’ve got to strike a balance between what you like, and what’s good for you.

Exercise: Experts suggest that everyone get a minimum of a half-hour of mild exercise/day. That’s real easy if you like walking, cycling, swimming, golf, or a host of other physical activities. On the other hand, I’ve never seen a jogger smile while running! If you don’t, like jogging, etc., then I suggest combining a half-hour of mild exercise while doing something else, accomplishing something else, that’s overall constructive at the same time as a substitute, something that you’re going to have to do anyway. That could be vigorous workout at housework; a half-hour of gardening; or, in my case, a half-hour walk, but to the store and back to buy the daily groceries or get other shopping done. Two birds with one stone. 

Genetics: It helps if you have a good genetic heritage. Actually you have no control over that, but by knowing the strengths, weaknesses, risks, and what did in your ancestors (parents, grandparents, etc.) you can take appropriate lifestyle steps to minimize your risk of going down life’s gurgler the same way.

Gums: I heard a long time ago that it was just as important to brush your gums as your teeth; a kind of massage for them, which probably helps to stimulate the blood flow through them and keep them healthy. Healthy gums make for better teeth. It sure ain’t because gums get cavities and need fillings! Anyway, I’ve adopted the practice and still have all my teeth firmly in place.

Hobbies: If you sit around the house bored out of your skull, that’s not good for your mental state which in turn has an effect on your physical well being. Hobbies help stimulate the mind, and everyone should have a hobby – actually several in case one loses its appeal for a while or peters out for one reason or another. One shouldn’t of course be weather dependent. I hear that mind gambes like chess or crossword puzzles or solving paradoxes or figuring out whodunits are especially useful for older, less able to be active, seniors. Hobbies don’t have to be expensive, though that’s between you and your bank manager if your hobby is collecting Rembrandts!

Iron: Iron is another one of those other trace elements that are essential to life and limb – okay, not so much a limb; rather in this case healthy blood. Foods rich in iron aren’t my thing, so I take an iron tablet as a dietary supplement. That works for me. But if you like lots of liver and spinach, you’re doing okay in the iron department.

Lifespan: I read a long time ago that two geographical regions had the longest and healthiest life-spans for their residents – The Japanese and those surrounding the Mediterranean region. In the former case, it was due to a diet high in fish. In the later case, it was due to a diet high in tomatoes. Both fish (and fish oils) and tomatoes apparently have positive values when it comes to contributing to overall healthy benefits.

Music: Music soothes the savage beast. Translated, listening to your favourite music has positive effects on your mental state; a positive mental state translates into a positive physical state – mind over matter. A happy mind makes for a healthy body. 

Organics: Eating organic foods are healthy eating right? Well, labelling something as ‘organic’ is just a PR rip-off designed to separate more of your money from you than you would otherwise pay for the same product but without the ‘organic’ label. One shop owner proudly displayed meat labelled with the word ‘organic’. I asked him to show me his range of presumably cheaper inorganic meats and of course he couldn’t since there is no such thing. All meat is organic. But the absolute height of idiocy was seeing a display of bottled water labelled ‘organic’. Now since does water contain the element carbon, which is what the word organic means, or should mean, as in organic chemistry – the chemistry of carbon compounds? And bottled water is another total rip-off. Tap water is just as good, cheaper and there’s no plastic bottles left over littering up the landscape. Actually, when my cats are faced with a choice of fresh tap water in their water bowl, or a rainwater puddle to drink out off, wild water wins hands down. Wild animals do very nicely drinking water that’s far less pure than what comes out of your kitchen or bathroom tap.

Purpose in life: You really need a reason(s) to get out of bed in the morning – some purpose in life. If you have no really real reason to get out of bed in the morning, you’ll vegetate. You may hate to get out of bed in the morning, but if you have a real reason to, a purpose, a responsibility to something above and beyond yourself, you’ll do it. There’s 101 plus purposes you could adopt as your own – charity work for one.

Sleep: Sleep is a very important part of our lifestyle. Much like oxygen and food and water, you can’t go on very long without it. And different people require differing amounts of sleep per day. However, as your time left on Earth as a living, breathing entity gets less and less; it’s seemingly a waste to spend one third or thereabouts of what’s left to you in limbo – asleep. You have personally got to decide for yourself a trade-off between quality of life remaining (lots of sleep; fully rested) and quantity of life (bugger sleep, live life 24/7/52) that’s left to you.

Smoking: Don’t smoke. Smoking is about as unnatural act as you can do and there is no shortage of nasties that are linked with smoking.

Stress: We all have to deal with stress to some degree or other. Mother Nature, fellow humans, politicians, and the tax man all throw curveballs at us 24/7/52. I’m sure even the world’s richest human; dictators, presidents and prime ministers, the British Royal Family; and associated pampered upper-crusts have to deal with some stress now and again. No one is ever stress-free all the time. Surprisingly, some stress is beneficial. It keeps you focused and on your toes. Too much stress stresses the mind too much which has an effect on the rest of the body – ulcers if nothing else. The only advice I have is plan ahead where possible to minimise or deflect future stressful situations; and try not to worry over those things you have absolutely no control over. It also helps if you have a friendly shoulder to cry on!

Thinning your blood: An ancient remedy for whatever ailed you was often to have leeches attached to your skin and having some of the blood sucked out of you. Apparently that had positive results in many cases. I’m not going to advocate you attach leeches to you, but there is one way to thin your blood, obviously beneficial to you, and also to others, and that’s to donate blood on a regular base if eligible. Losing 500 ml of your blood every 12 weeks doesn’t harm you one jot. Not everyone can donate of course – an aspirin a day can accomplish a bit of thinning as well or as an alternative. 

Variety is the spice of life: Don’t stick yourself in a total rut, even if routine is comfortable. Vary your daily routine or diet, even if just a little, so as to experience something new. If the one-off experiment flubs, well nothing ventured, nothing gained. You can then try something else. If you can’t find one tiny variation to your normal routine or diet per week, you’re not trying hard enough.

Waste products: Unfortunately, the very process of living means that your body has to intake various chemicals, process them, and eliminate the unwanted residues – waste products. There are four ways the body eliminates or gets rid of waste products – sweating, exhaling, urine and faeces. You don’t have any real control over exhaling – mainly carbon dioxide. You have relatively little control over sweating, which mainly eliminates salt from your system (which is not always good; your body needs some salt); you also don’t have much of a say in your more solid wastes. However, you can have some control over all those waste products that build up but ultimately get eliminated in your urine. You don’t want those waste products hanging around any longer than necessary. You can drink water, or products/foods that contain a lot of water. Extra water has to be eliminated, and along with it those other waste products that have accumulated. So, drinking lots of liquids, or eating foods which contain a lot of water like pasta, eliminates waste products building up in your blood stream that much faster. Good riddance to bad rubbish that does you no good while inside of you. 

Weight loss: There is one and only one way to lose weight. You have to burn more calories than you ingest. Say you need 2000 calories/day but want to lose weight. Most people go on a crash diet of say 500 calories/day and they are miserable. My solution is to ingest 1800 calories. Sure, weight loss will take longer, but because there’s hardly any real pain, it’s sustainable and you eventually achieve your goal. The other alternative is to keep ingesting your quota of 2000 calories, but start to burn off 2200 calories/day – like getting a bit more exercise. Then too, you could both eat just a little bit less; exercise just a little bit more. Rome wasn’t built in a day; weight loss isn’t a one-day affair either. Think long term.

Finally, for a happy healthy life, empty what’s full; fill what’s empty; scratch where it itches.

P.S. Essays like this are all well and good, but they are no substitute for consulting your favourite heath professional/medical practitioner for spot-on up-close-and-personal advice that conforms to your specific needs.

Universals of the Human Condition: Part One

Every human is unique in terms of their worldview. Every society, every community, every suburb, every village, town, city, county, state, country has a unique identity. Every culture, race (ethnic grouping) also has a unique identity. Yet there are certain universals seemingly shared across the board by the great majority of individuals comprising any and all narrower divisions. Some of these universals are mysterious; some not so mysterious. Here are just a few of them.

Well it’s obvious that all humans share various and fundamental universals – death and taxes! Quite apart from that famous observation about certainty, we’re all susceptible to diseases like cancer, the flu and the common cold. Also universal are heart disease and heart attacks. We all have at least one phobia and we share common emotions as well as a common anatomy and body plan. We all need to fill what’s empty; empty what’s full; and scratch where it itches. Are there any exceptions for the need to sleep, perchance to dream? Let’s explore several other universals, though this is not meant to be a universally exhaustive list, which are innate to our internal psychology and/or based around external realities.

Afterlife: Humans are probably unique as a species in having a before-the-fact awareness that we are going to kick-the-bucket. I doubt if any other animal has an awareness of the concept of their own death. However, relatively few of us probably want to die, though the alternative, if you stop and think about it, immortality either with or without eternal youth, isn’t very pretty either. Anyway, it’s not surprising that we have come up with the next best security blanket going – an afterlife. Alas, wishing for it doesn’t make it so. You’d really think that if an afterlife was reality then somehow some definite proof would have filtered back to us aging mortals, just to shore up our belief system.  

Bigger Is Better; Size Matters: If you ask any child or adult to name several dinosaurs, it’s a sure bet they won’t name the turkey-sized ones! Then there’s the Guinness Book of Records that accents things that are big, bigger, biggest. Men want larger private parts; women bustier busts. And ask any Texan what really matters! We’ve all heard of keeping up with (and surpassing) the Jones family! They’re not called ‘Tiny Macs’ but of course ‘Big Macs’ and we’ve all heard of super-sizing!

Civilization: There are universal mythologies that don’t credit humans with any smarts in our march towards civilization. Important knowledge wasn’t hard won by us; rather it was given to us by the gods. You name it; it was a sort-of from on-high Xmas gift. Fire is one example; agriculture another; weaving yet another. If it wasn’t for the gods, we’d still be in the Stone Age, primitive hunter gatherers.

Clothing: To a greater or lesser extent, the human species now covers itself with clothing. Sometimes this is for protection, for the sake of art (so-called ‘fashion’), for conformity, and because society says so. That wasn’t always the case and in terms of animal life on Earth we’re the lone exception in having that kind of nature of body covering.

Cooking: When you think about it, cooking food is somewhat anomalous. All other life forms are adapted to eat all their nutrition in the raw state, be it the flesh of plants or the flesh of animals. And so too must early humans been so adapted, and even today we do eat a lot of plant flesh uncooked. The central ingredient required for cooking was fire, but whether the use of fire for cooking was obvious to Blind Freddy is doubtful. Fire was useful for light; for heat; for keeping large dangerous wildlife at bay, but cooking? No doubt the first cooking experiences were accidental, but that art has spread through to all societies. Cooking is now one of those universals. And while we think nothing of eating cooked meat now, and usually avoid raw meat, it must have been quite the brave individual to actually try cooked meat, say a dead animal ‘cooked’ in a bushfire after a lifetime of eating nothing but the raw variety. 

Creations: This one stumps me, unless we were told by the ‘creators’ or those more in the know that there were creations. I doubt we could figure out that things get created from personal observations and historical records. Consider the Sun. Every day we see the Sun rise and set. We ask our parents and they say that in their lifetime everyday the Sun rose and set. They say that their parents said the same to them, and their parents before them. We consult historical texts from thousands of years ago, and what do we read, well Mr. Sun rose and Mr. Sun set, it rises and sets, rises and sets. There is no person or history we can consult who can suggest anything other than the Sun rising and setting forever and ever and ever no matter how far back you go. If you could ask the dinosaurs their observations, well they too would have to tell you about that rising and setting Sun. Why would you not assume that the Sun has always risen and set? Translated, based on all available evidence you would have to conclude that the Sun had no starting point and based on probability, won’t have an end point either. The Sun is infinite in time. The Sun had no creation. The same argument applies to the ground underneath your feet – Planet Earth is infinite in time. Since you can’t actually question the dinosaurs, you have no reason, no contrary evidence not to believe humans as a species didn’t always exist. So how come you have “In the beginning God created…”? Why does every mythology contain creation stories – for the cosmos, the Sun, Earth, plants and animals, even for humans? - Something’s screwy somewhere. 

Deities: We don’t like mysteries. Well actually we do like mysteries as long as we can solve them to our satisfaction. If we can’t explain a mystery, there’s a convenient ‘out’ or explanation at hand. We attribute that unknown to some power higher than our own; a supernatural deity in other words. Unknown forces become ‘acts of god’ or godly miracles or ‘god works in mysterious ways’, etc. And so the unknown is explained. Mystery solved. That satisfies our curiosity, at least in the short term. That doesn’t mean supernatural deities really exist, but since we’ve named so many thousands of them they probably do exist – as extraterrestrial flesh-and-blood ‘deities’ that is. Regardless of their reality, a deity is also very useful as a scapegoat to blame when things go wrong, instead of blaming yourself, which would probably be a better reflection of reality. Deities can in the popular imagination get up close and personal and if you piss one off – not all that hard to do apparently – that explains all your troubles from the insignificant to the minor to the major, even life-threatening. And it’s a very universal human trait to shift the blame and find a scapegoat.

Fiction: When animals communicate with each other they tell the truth. Bees communicate where a new food source is; animals cry out warning/danger sounds and there is no doubting by those in hearing range the truth behind the message; dogs bark for a positive reason and whatever that reason, it’s representing something about the animal’s perception of reality. Humans however universally invent stories; untruths; fictions; lies; which sets us apart from other animals. The purpose of these fictitious inventions are varied – entertainment value; make a moral/ethical point, etc. Some fiction goes under another name – advertising! However, storytelling is a universal human trait; a universally absent one in the rest of the animal kingdom.

Fire: One thing common in major mythologies is that fire was a gift from lesser gods even if they nicked it first from higher authority. Prometheus is the obvious example though there are numerous parallel examples from North American Indians, even Polynesia and referenced in the Books of Enoch. However, that’s rather odd. You’d of thought that the ‘discovery’ of fire; the ‘gift’ of fire, was universally a natural event – no gods, no gifts, required. It would be a rare environment that didn’t experience natural forest or bushfires due to lightning strikes, or via lava starting fires from active volcanoes. Such natural sources should have prevented any need of an unnatural source, which is one via a deity.

Future Happenings: Animals have way too much on their plates to concern them in the here and now to worry too much about tomorrow. Even if they do it’s probably a case of ‘whatever will be, will be’. That’s despite some animals squirreling or storing away food in the good times for when times are not so plentiful. That’s just pure instinct on their part, not an original foresight concept thought through and through. Humans on the other hand from all walks of life, then and now, are obsessed with tomorrow and beyond. Maybe that’s because we alone know that our demise looms in that future of tomorrows. And so there’s a flourishing industry in astrology and soothsaying, prophets and oracles, tea leaves and chicken entrails. It’s all nonsense of course except to true believers, and perhaps, for deeply embedded psychological reasons, that includes the majority of us, even if we won’t admit it.    

Ghosts: That reports of and beliefs in spirits or phantoms or more commonly ghosts are universal throughout all societies, past and present. They probably have origins in people latching on to any possible evidence that proves there’s an afterlife. If the concept of an afterlife is a security blanket for humans facing inevitable death, ghosts are a security blanket that supports an afterlife. But, how do you then account for phantom trains and buildings or ghost ships or other non-living objects that sometimes appear as ghostly images? Something’s screwy somewhere – yet again! Actually that screwy-ness might be evidence that we’re actually ‘living’ in a simulated universe; we’re just virtual reality not real reality and phantom trains say are just the residue of previously overwritten software.

Humans First: Actually that’s ‘humans first and foremost’ in all things where there’s a conflict between what humans want and what everything else needs. Translated, when it comes to the use of land, humans vs. the environment for biodiversity or endangered species, it is humans first and foremost. A typical case history is the Amazon Forest vs. humans – humans 1; forest 0. If humans want to use land that’s home to an endangered species – screw the endangered species. If farmers have crops attacked by wildlife – kill the bastards! Universally, it’s called ‘progress’ and nothing stands in the way of human progress – even other humans as the native Amerindians found out. Ditto that for the Aztecs, Incas, and the Australian Aborigines too. I recall here the Spencer Tracy narration for the film “How the West Was Won”, narration that’s not exactly something that’s politically correct in today’s society: “This land has a name today, and is marked on maps. But, the names and the marks and the land all had to be won, won from nature and from primitive man.” [Easterners heading westward would] “Look at a mountain and see a watershed; look at a forest and see timber for houses; look at a stony field and see a farm”.  That’s how the west was conquered. Actually it’s all God’s fault of course. We take direction from His Holy Words and He instructed us to be fruitful and multiply (like rabbits) and take dominion over the Earth, its lands, oceans and all its living inhabitants. He, being all knowing, realised we’d get carried away and go way over-the-top and stuff things up. That’s His secret agenda – instead of drowning us in another flood, He’ll let us exterminate ourselves into an extinct species! That way God doesn’t have a guilty conscious.

Humour: Humans alone and collectively within the animal kingdom have a sense of humour. We tell and play practical jokes; comedy shows on TV abound as well as feature length comedy films. It’s a rare work of literature that doesn’t contain at least a few lighter moments; ditto most other works of drama. However, the question is why? Humour has no survival value in any Darwinian sense. I mean do your odds of surviving a shark attack just happen to lie in your telling the shark a few dirty jokes thus distracting it while rapidly back-pedalling out of the water? In any event, the transmission of humour usually resides in language, and humans were on the road to civilization way before we had language. So humour and survival do not seem to be linked. So, how do we explain this human trait? It’s universal; it’s yet another example of something’s screwy somewhere. 

To be continued…

Humans Have the Intelligence; Animals Have the Smarts: Part One

There’s no question that of all species on Planet Earth, modern humans, Homo sapiens, are top of the pops when it comes to intelligence (IQ). All other species, however close they might be in evolutionary terms to modern humans, pale in comparison. BUT, and there’s always a BUT, animals are way smarter, which raises questions about our actual relationship to them. Here I give numerous examples where animals are top of the pops when it comes to pure smarts.

Humans have the highest IQ; but animals have vastly more commonsense. How so? Let’s consider various settings, starting with one we all share – time and space.

TIME & SPACE

Wake Up: Animals will wake up when their biological clocks tell them it’s time to wake up. Humans wake up when the alarm clock rings!

Going to Sleep: Animals go to sleep when their biological clocks tell them to go to sleep (including catnaps). Humans go to sleep after their favourite TV program finishes, like the late, late show! Humans push the boundaries and often refuse to rest even when their bodies tell them it’s desirable. An afternoon catnap ultimately increases productivity, but how many workplaces encourage napping (even briefly) on the job?

Time: All animals have a sense of time, a biological clock. However, unlike humans, one cannot suggest that animals are anywhere near as obsessed with time as are humans. Humans, like animals, regulate their activities by the ‘clock’, only with humans it tends to be not a vague time, like with animals – just sometime soon as long as the Sun’s up - but timed to not only the minute, but often the second. The factory whistle; the timing (start and stop) of a sports event; the start of your TV program, are all programmed down to the second. New Years Day isn’t New Years Day until precisely the tiniest split second post midnight. Scientific measurements are down to the nanosecond; that phone call is expected at exactly 9:15 a.m., etc. You’d be hard-pressed to imagine an animal needing to wear a wristwatch or operate a stopwatch! 

Holidays & Anniversaries; Animals attach zero importance to holidays and anniversaries. Humans are obsessed with them, an obsession which often takes a financial, social, physical and mental toll.

Vacations & Weekends: Animals don’t need a break from their daily routine. Humans require (or at least think they do) annual (or more frequent) time off and away from the routine, not to mention the “thank god it’s Friday” syndrome. What does that really say about modern human society?

Territory: Animals will occupy and defend as much territory as is necessary for their survival and the continuation of their species. Humans however will often try to possess and rule over as much territory, property, as possible, sometimes for economic (investment) reasons; often for sheer power for the sake of power. Humans are rarely satisfied with what they control – they always want more and More and MORE. [See also: Domination]

MATTER & ENERGY

Possessions: Animals have no urge to acquire things, other than that required for survival (like building a nest or storing away food for the winter). Humans – well, what’s the expression, “keeping up with the Jones family” or “shop till you drop”!

FILL WHAT’S EMPTY

Eating #1: Wild animals, who don’t know when and where their next meal might come from, will make hay while the sun shines. Humans, even when they know where and when their next meal comes from, will still over indulge, especially on certain festive or special occasions.  [See also: Obesity]

Eating #2: An animal, assuming food is available, will eat when it is hungry – a natural state of affairs. A human will eat according to a schedule, at fixed times, when the dining room is open, when the office clock and the boss says “go to lunch now”, regardless of need – an artificial (phoney) state of affairs.

Eating #3: A wild animal eats natural foods, as Mother Nature (natural selection & evolution) intended it should. Humans tend to eat processed foods, full of preservatives and other artificial chemicals (all to after-the-fact found to be harmful, maybe even carcinogenic), often laden with additional salts, sugars, fats, and other tasty bits that don’t usually give the human any additional nutritional benefits.

Obesity: A few companion animals are allowed to overeat and put on too much weight, because their owners, out of ‘kindness’ overfeed them. However, most cats and dogs, etc. are pretty good at self-regulating their intake and saying “enough” when it’s enough, even if presented with an unlimited food supply. In humans, the obesity epidemic in the developed world, like the USA, Australia and similar countries is totally out of control despite thousands of diet books, articles, DVDs, websites and fitness gyms seemingly on every street corner. Now I have a normal quota of male hormones, but a good third of all females between 15 and 35 don’t rate a first glance, far less a second because they are very unpleasingly plump (and that’s being kind).

EMPTY WHAT’S FULL

Bathroom/Toilet: Animals go potty when the need arises. Humans go after the meeting or during intermissions, whatever. Such restrictions are often unpleasant, but humans impose such restrictions on themselves. Animals have no sympathy for us.

Greenhouse Gases: My cats can certainly pass wind. Cows and methane are a well know duo. Humans are expected to refrain from emitting greenhouses in the presence of others other than exhaled carbon dioxide and water vapour.

SCRATCH WHERE IT ITCHES

Itches & Twitches: If an animal itches, it scratches and doesn’t give a damn if anything or anybody is observing. Humans, in the company of polite society at least, usually refrain from scratching, especially in certain places. They suffer the itchy/twitchy consequences!

To be continued…